Decisions, Decisions

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

then get a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out,
at any hour, for as long and wherever you want .

then get a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the
remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit
next to you as you watch romantic movies

then get a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up
on your bed just to warm your feet and whom
you can push off if he snores .....

then get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what
you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly,
fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word
you say is especially worthy of listening to, and
loves you unconditionally, no matter what

then get a dog.
But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all
night and only comes home to eat and sleep,
and acts as if your entire existence is solely
to ensure his happiness:
Watch this next picture for a minute...


then get a cat!
You thought I was going to say, 'then get a man'

Answer me this

Why would someone engage in one-night stands when what they say they seek is a highly intellectual, deeply emotional, long-term committment?

As if.......

You see this is what happens when you have to stay home and wait for the GE repairman. You catch up on your blog reading at Citizen of the Month. Read an interesting comment by Finn and the next thing I know I have found my seduction sytle. Now if only I had someone to share my style with.....

Bees & things

What a weekend. BFNM is off to The Kingdom. For all those that don't know what or where The Kingdom is that would be Saudi Arabia. Now you may ask, why on earth would he go halfway across the world to work? Couldn't he find a job here? The answer isn't quite that simple. Most of the feedback that he got while pursuing other position was his lack of international exposure. International exposure in the sense of being in the thick of things not just looking at it from the outside. For almost two years he's been building a relationship with the management of the company of one of his friends from grad school. While he will be at the same company as his friend, he will be in a different location and not connected with any business that his friend is working on.

Before he left I tried to get him to sign up for Skype. I even went out and bought a video cam so that when we "talked" we could at least see each other. Not only is it expensive to talk via the cell phone but it also cost (him not me) to send text messages. He is not sure of how good his internet access will be in his location - for now the blackberry works. His landed safely and will be looking for a permanent residence aka secured compound. He took a piece of my heart with him to keep him safe. I probably won't sleep very well for the next 12 months.

As to the bees, I awoke this morning to a swarm of bees in my bathroom. I freaked out. Not just a little freaked out, a big freaked out. My condo association did not consider it a valid emergency. Now this is not like something I could fix or prevent on my own. I live essentially on the third floor of a 4 story building and the bees apparently were coming through the bathroom vent that is suppose to take moisture & smells out of the bathroom. When I went outside to take a look there were hundreds of bees swarming around the vent and it looked like a flap that would prevent anything from getting in was missing. Most likely the bees have setup a nest and now that winter is officially over they are through hibernating. I complained to the president of the condo and showed her my bee graveyard. I killed almost 25 bees before things settled down. I'm not sure where the bees went but I am scared they will be back. I called 911 and they gave me the name of a Bee guy who I promptly called and he said he would come out but he never showed up. So tomorrow I am hoping I can get a pest control out here to take care of this. I just hope they have a ladder or spray that can reach high enough and accurately enough to the vent to make sure they kill the nest. I'm taking suggestions on what to do in the interim.

So I now have two things to keep me up tonight - thinking about BFSM's (Best Friend Saudi Man) safety and my safety of not getting stung in the middle of the night.

Cars

Where do cars come from? Why from baby cars, of course...

I've got a cold

Well, I can't breathe, my throat is all itchy, my eyes are all watery and I have this sexy throaty voice thing going on. The weather here is just plain coocoo. First it was pleasantly fall like then it reverts back to summer like and now it's in the freaking 30's. Oh and for good measure throw in a trip to Naples, FL where it's a heat wave and come back to town and attend an outdoor concert where the temp drops into the 50's and there is a good breeze. Here's some fall pics from around my neighborhood:


Yesterday was decorate the pool house for Halloween. We put up tombstones for a graveyard effect, hung spiders from the door that rise and fall when you open and close the door, hung a ghoul from a tree, put up purple and orange lights outside, changed all the lights inside to either red or blacklight and I'm sure there is still more to do. I will post the pics when it's totally finished. I'm not exactly sure what I am calling my costume other than an over made up vacationer. I just hope I can follow the instructions on the make up kit I bought and put the fake eyelashes on correctly.


The interview tomorrow just got moved to breakfast on Thursday - gives me time to get rid of this sexy throaty voice thing I have. Now if I can convince them to have breakfast at a better restaurant that's not so greasy and would fit into my diet plan.....Oh did I mention, my friend in Florida are supporting each other in losing 15 pounds by January. So far he's down 4 and I'm down 2. He also might be giving the girl the boot sooner rather than later. It's almost embarassing what she's done since I left. Change that, it is embarassing what she has done since I've left. I am sure there will be more to come. Keep smiling!

One liners

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, and know that someone who thinks you're great has thought about you today!



Yippee the weekend is here! I do believe that my "down" mood has passed. Now I am distressed about wrinkles. Everyday I look at my hands and they remind me of my grandmother's hands. She died several years ago but I always take time to remember her and others in my family who have died. Today was my Grandma T. She had long, strong fingers. Her treat was getting her hair and nails done every week. In her later years there really wasn't much hair to work with so she would do her own styling but she kept up the manicures.

I have the long fingers and the veiny back of the hands like her. You can't miss a blood vessel in my hands. As we get older our skin becomes thinner and transparent. Men too. I notice those things. You can have all the plastic surgery you want but your hands will always give your age away. Whether it's arthritis, the thin skin or the wrinkles, your hands will give you away.

Wrinkles and yet I look at my hands and remember my Grandma. I miss our talks, her cooking and baking, her gruffness, and her kindness. Growing up you always get told who you look like - for me Grandma T would say I had her neck. Who says that? She didn't want anyone comparing looks so she chose a body part that no one would ever think of to compare for looks. Me - I chose our hands. Fond, loving memories when I look at my hands. Besides, I can't see my neck.

Now this would make me happy

Overheard two older ladies in a restaurant:

Any women who only tolerates sex once a year doesn't want a mate, just a meal ticket. Neither my husband nor I ever turned down an invitation for sex with each other and we have been together for 50 years.

Now if I could just find a guy like that!

Warning - Mushball/Waterfall

Need a hug? Then check this out at Run Jen Run. Be forewarned - if you are proned to weepy eye this will most assuredly cause some tear drops.


And if anyone would like to share with me how to get that you tube thing link like that on my blog, please let me know.

A reason to be busy

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Jerome K. Jerome
British humor writer (1859 - 1927)


I find this statement so true. When are you most apt to start piddling during the day? Obviously not until you have a shitload of work to do. We have conditioned ourselves to multitask at every opportunity that even when we are "relaxing" we still have other things on our plate we need to accomplish (wash clothes, clean house, fix a meal, study SOX, write a post for the blog, Wi-Fi from the pool, read through the posts of other bloggers).

So much to do, so little time. How many times have you walked into someone's office with this great idea you've been working on to find a person on their computer playing solitaire. Or you have been told that information is urgently needed and when you deliver the completed information on time, you find your manager on the phone having a personal conversation. Or attend a conference and look at how many people are on their cell phones - not checking email but actually playing a game.

The flip side is when we are actually given "free time" we find ourselves bored. It is as if free time isn't fun or appealing unless it is "stolen" from the other activities you have to accomplish. For me, I know that when I do all my work I actually have more free time and I can enjoy that down time as such.

How to wash away your sins

During the Jewish New Year there is a ceremony called Tashlikh. Jews traditionally go to a running body of water such as the ocean, a stream or a river to pray and throw in breadcrumbs. This symbolizes throwing away one's sins which the fish devour. Occasionally, people ask what kinds of breadcrumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors:

For ordinary sins --White Bread

For erotic sins - French Bread

For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel

For complex sins - Multi grain

For sins of indecision - Waffles

For sins committed in haste - Matzos

For sins of chutzpah - Any fresh bread

For substance abuse - Stoned wheat

For committing auto theft - Caraway

For timidity/cowardice - Milk toast

For ill-temper - Sourdough

For silliness, eccentricity - Nut bread

For excessive irony - Rye bread

For unnecessary chances - Hero bread

For war-mongering - Kaiser rolls

For dressing immodestly - Tarts

For lechery and promiscuity - Hot buns

For promiscuity with gentiles - Hot cross buns

For racist attitudes - Crackers

For being holier than thou - Bagels

For overeating - Stuffing

For indecent photography - Cheesecake

For raising your voice too often - Challah

For pride and egotism - Puff pastry

For sycophancy, ass-kissing - Brownies

For being overly smothering - Angel food cake

For trashing the environment - Dumplings

For telling bad jokes/puns - Corn bread

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO ALL


List received from an email.

Almost 250 Years Ago

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin,
Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759
US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 - 1790)


I know I want to be safe but at what cost to my personal freedom? We have already seen a dramatic change in the activities we need to go through just to get on a plane. Then there are the alleged phone records scandal and the alleged H-P scandal. Personally I don't know what frightens me more: telling me I should be aware of my surroundings and people and report anything suspicious or the possibility that someone is investigating my every move, phone call, email, etc. surreptitiously.

Wow, did Ben have it right? If you give up liberty, even temporarily, you are no more safe and you have lost some freedoms. Liberty - that's what makes us strong - this country, you and me. With liberty we grow, without it we stagnant because we are paralyzed with fear. I can not live in fear of the unknown for the rest of my life.

I know I don't feel any safer today than 5 years ago. Truth be told, I probably feel less safe. What I can do is protect myself and my family the best way I know. I also will continue to support and vote for those who also believe as Ben Franklin did so many years ago.


Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Relationships, Travel, Vacation, Family

KY Jelly?

I was discussing with my brother and sister in law about whether to take carry-on or check my bags on my next flight and my sister in law posed this question. "Why do they allow KY Jelly in your carry-on bag but you can't take bottled water?" I said "You're kidding." She said "No."

She went to the TSA website regarding the banned items so that she would know how to pack and noticed that KY Jelly was an allowable substance for carry-on. The look on my face made her burst into laughter. The site specifically named KY Jelly. What no Astroglide? So I said "Well maybe it's for the mile high club." We had a laugh and then sat there and tried to think of why KY Jelly is an allowable subtance over bottled water. Are there so many post menopausal women out there that have a constant need for lubrication? Am I missing out on something I should be doing that would require me to have my KY jelly at the ready in an airplane cabin, in-flight no less? Is this a new way to hook-up? "Hey mister, I have my KY Jelly, want to make good use of it? Just don't get dry mouth."

Does the TSA realize how much 4 oz. of KY Jelly is? You only use a dab of the stuff otherwise you have one big oil field mess on your hands and anywhere else you happen to be using the KY Jelly while flying. Yeah, maybe that's it - hand lotion.


Tags: TSA, KY Jelly, Observations, Personal Lessons, Travel

CBS got it right

Great new show: Shark with James Woods. Okay so now my Thursday nights are doomed - Survivor 13, Grey's Anatomy and Shark.



Tags: Shark, Grey's Anatomy, Survivor

I so want to do this!

Working people frequently ask unemployed people what they do to make their days
interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop.I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving an unemployed person a break"?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a shithead.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care.

I came downtown on the train and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Cheney '08.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm not working.


Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons

Drama

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. - Alfred Hitchcock
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - e.e. cummings

The two quotes above definitely describe my 7 year old niece. Her nickname, since she was 6 months old, is Queen. She skipped the little princess stage of life. Since she was 4 she rolls her eyes and does the "talk,talk,talk" motion with her fingers whenever Grandma (my mother) starts going into 20 question mode. You know the questions from the probing Grandma - what did you do today? what did you eat for dinner? did you have a good day at school?, etc. She wanted a palm pilot for her birthday because she needed a place to keep all her phone numbers. (I got her the old version kind where she has to write all the information on the separate pages.) She calls me at least once a week to find out when she is going to spend the night at my house.

My niece's current drama is housekeeping. My sister hates the word maid. Besides, housekeeping consists of 2 other neighbors (who hate cleaning their house as much as anyone else) along with my sister that have decided to help each other keep their houses clean. It's true - it is so much easier to clean when others are helping than to do it all yourself.

Well, housekeeping visited last week and my niece pitched a fit.

What did housekeeping do to my room?
Why did housekeeping move the bookshelves around?
Where are all my books?
Where are all my stuffed animals? (Note: My niece sleeps with no less than 50 stuffed animals, dolls, or beanie babies in her twin bed - and geez I'm complaining about 2 dogs!)
What did housekeeping do to my office? (Note: There is a small room adjacent to my niece's room that is setup to look like a school room but my niece likes to call it "her office".)
I don't like housekeeping. I can't find any of my stuff. I don't want housekeeping to come back? I will do housekeeping. Where is the list that housekeeping used? Just give me the list and I will do everything. Tell housekeeping they are fired!

This conversation went on for 30 minutes. Housekeeping will be back - because my sister LOVES housekeeping.

Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Family

Just today

How many viagra ads can one ignore? How many viagra ads does one need to receive before they actually breakdown and respond?

I really should keep better track of the stats on this. It's a joke around my friends when my blackberry vibrates at the strangest times and I respond - oh yeah there's my viagra order coming in.

However, let's just use today's spam for our sample. 41 ads a day times 7 days times 52 weeks = 14, 924 spam ads received for viagra and other nonsense in one year. Let's see - I have tried filtering out this filth through my webmail spam filter. Bad idea. As soon as I put an address on the blocked list from my webmail account I receive at least one third more trash than I had before. Okay that wasn't a good idea.

Next step - Norton Anti-Virus - same deal - it's like if you try to block this shit with anything reputable you are just opening yourself up to receiving even more filth. Last resort - using the junk mail feature in Microsoft Windows - this has actually had a minor impact on the filth. The same spam is just cloned to a different email address - and since there are millions of iterations of email addresses I believe I'm doomed to receive this shit. The only problem with the Windows filter is for those really smart people who have devised a way to hide their email address windows doesn't have an adequate filter to prevent these from coming through (ie: filtering on the subject line). I know I could use the rules and alerts but then that clutters up my rules and alerts for every iteration of strange fonts in the subject line. Besides the subject line is always ever so slightly changed each time so this would be an exercise that would be doomed to fail.

The last, and not really an option, option is to change my email address. Now this would cause a major uproar amongst my friends and family. It's bad enough I change phone numbers (home, cell or work) on a regular basis. I have stopped moving around the country (at least for now) so at least my home address hasn't changed in the last 6 years. But my email address - that is sacrosanct. I could use one of the other 4 email addresses I have accumulated over the years as my main email address but it would be like giving up my identity. I just won't do it.

I have sent emails to my provider asking if there is anything they can do to prevent the onslaught. I also inquired as to why when I put the spam filter on through webmail it just appears to create more filth. So far, deaf ears.

Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Technology

Feeling Blue

Do you hide your feelings? Do your friends and family know who you really are? Do you know what makes you happy? Does it make you happy today and not tomorrow? Can you accept yourself for your blue feelings and still have a happy life? How have your "big sisters and big brothers" help you see yourself for who you are? Do you believe in your own inner strength? Do you believe you deserve the best? What are you doing to get where you want to be? Why is it so hard to express your feelings? Why is it so hard for someone to hear your feelings as it relates to them? Especially when they hear that you have hurt feelings?

I hear this all the time - "I want to meet someone who can express themselves and not retreat when things aren't going in the direction you thought they were going." So you think - aha - someone I can finally open up to because they want to understand the nuances of getting along - the good feelings and the bad feelings. So you express your feelings or you ask why something which surprised you was said in a particular manner because you understood the situation differently. BAM - you are hit on the head because they don't understand how their action could have caused your reaction. They instead try to fix something that isn't necessarily broken it just needs a little more explanation to make sure you are both on the same page. So, were we ever on the same page? Can we ever have hurt feelings without guilt?

I realize the ability to express feelings is hard for many people. Nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and we all have different levels of how we deal with our feelings. You shouldn't feel guilty for expressing yourself and you shouldn't put the other person in a position of defending them selves for something they thought was very innocent because they have feelings too. It takes a conscious effort to express yourself and not "walk on eggshells". I'm still learning. The biggest factor in communicating successfully is just being aware of the words that you use.

Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Relationships

Tradition

tra·di·tion n. 1) The passing down of elements of a culture from generation to generation, especially by oral communication. 2) A mode of thought or behavior followed by a people continuously from generation to generation; a custom or usage. 3) A set of such customs and usages viewed as a coherent body of precedents influencing the present: followed family tradition in dress and manners. 4) A time-honored practice or set of such practices.


One of the men I dated would call my kisses “fire”. My kisses are never the same. Yet is it bad of me to need to receive kisses that are also “fire”, ever changing? You know the kind where you just want something a little different – more/less tongue; left side/right side movement; kisses all over your face – tender, slow, passionate, wanting, teasing; or slow breathing, touching cheek to cheek going slowing from one side of the mouth to the other, stopping only momentarily at the lips before continuing on to the other side of the face.

I think someone has a traditional style to their kisses or sexual activity because they have either never been with a partner that expressed their needs or they never asked their partner what they enjoy. This goes for women as well as men. My response is for people that are in committed relationships. I’m not a therapist and my words should only be taken as one who has talked with many men and women and also read a few books about sex.

You ladies out there that complain about your man being boring – well don’t tell the world – tell your man what you want – show them if you need to. If you can’t express what you want then find a book. I’m not talking S & M, ménage a trois or anything kinky; unless of course that’s what you want and you and your partner have actually talked about this.

I’m just talking about passionate lovemaking that comes from the heart with the energy of your soul. If you have had it, you know what I’m talking about. Have you ever tried touching without touching? Have you ever gotten so close to a person and yet not touched them but just used your imagination and felt the other’s energy before the commencing of stripping. You men out there - you don't need to talk filthy dirty to get what you want but you do at least have to have a voice - grabbing the back of your partner's head and shoving it where you want to go is NOT expressing your needs either.

Anticipation is a wonderful thing. Flirting is a wonderful thing. Quickies in the car on the way to your company Christmas party are a wonderful thing. Suggestive talking/texting is a wonderful thing.

Traditional – just that each has an orgasm. How you get there – use your imagination, ask your partner (they are with you because they want to be – who better to ask what they want as far as pleasure and if it is something you are comfortable with giving/receiving then go for it), or read the Dummies Guide to the Kama Sutra – make your own rules together. Leave history/tradition for religion and politics. As the idiom goes – variety is the spice of life – don't be guided by the clock or what others are or are not doing - add a little spice to your tradition and make a little love for lunch!

Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Relationships

I need a Voice-Over

Most shows on television these days have voice-overs. Some profound statement made by either the lead character or a key character of the show that’s a lead in, or a move along (can we say – Two Roads you’re definitely not in show business – segue way is a better choice or words) or to summarize the story.

So here are some of the voice-overs that have been playing in my head:

Is it plagiarism if you get a topic idea from another Blogger and don’t reference them?

How open can you be with your opinions with someone you care deeply about and still keep in check your feelings for that person?

Will being friends be enough?

Will there ever be a time in my life where I actually feel like I am “home”?

How do you find the one you’re looking for when you aren’t anywhere you should be looking?

It’s nice to be important but more important to be nice. Can I be too nice?

Like it or not, here I come….

Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Relationships