The Story of BFNM - Part 5

I finished my work in New Hampshire and returned to Atlanta again not knowing when I would see BFNM again. His work was getting more bizarre by the day. It turns out the woman he worked for has borderline personality disorder. This woman took micromanaging to such an extreme it would not surprise me if she put her bowel movements on her calendar and sent herself a task. She listened to employee’s voicemail and read their emails. BFNM and I had discussions on how to handle this woman and finally I threw my hands up and said to call his psychologist friend and get an unbiased opinion on how to handle the situation. The psychologist was the one who gave the borderline personality disorder diagnosis. Naturally, BFNM and I researched all over the Internet and concurred. It was a relief to have a name for the condition but there was not any good advice on how to deal with someone who has this condition.

BFNM then came up with another project for me to work on and needed me to return to New Hampshire. This proposal became a test of my patience. BFNM and I wrote the requirements and deliverables based on information he had received from the outside accountants. It took no less than 10 revisions after that to get approval from his boss. He was frustrated and I was frustrated. When I had enough, I said to tell his boss this was the final revision – take it or leave it but I was not changing the proposal again. Turns out that his boss was giving BFNM a hard time because she believed she was financing a trip for me to visit BFNM because she believed we were “involved” even though BFNM had told her he was involved with DDG. Yes, I know, it was none of her business - but he was dealing with an over the top micromanager.

In order to get the “approval” to go to New Hampshire, BFNM offered that I would not have a rental car and that I would be staying in his spare bedroom in order to keep expenses to a minimum. The best plane fare involved staying over the weekend so it would be a great way for me to explore Portsmouth, NH and perhaps even see a little bit of Maine with BFNM as my tour guide since I would not have a vehicle. Well, that was not to be because DDG had other plans. She wanted to go to Cape Cod that same weekend as she expressed it would her only time to get there before summer season began. BFNM would leave on Friday afternoon and return Sunday evening. I was on my own in Portsmouth for the weekend.

Yes, I was mad. However, I could not do anything. I am a very resourceful person and even without a car I knew I would be fine on my own. DDG continue to insist that this was the only time they would have available to go to the Cape. BFNM left thinking he was going to have a relaxing, romantic weekend. Friday night I came back to an empty condominium and had to create plans for the rest of the weekend by myself. Good news is that BFNM had become friendly with a couple that owns a furniture store. He left me the wife’s name and number and told me to give her a call over the weekend because he thought she had said her husband was going to be out of town. He also left me with his credit card with instructions if I found a storage cabinet for the second bathroom I could buy it. It rained on and off all day Saturday. BFNM lived within walking distance of downtown Portsmouth. When the weather broke, I walked down to the furniture store and introduced myself to FW (furniture wife). She was very friendly and we had a blast talking. Since I was on a mission to find piece of furniture, I did not want to leave without a purchase. I found the perfect cabinet in two different woods and textures. FW offered to bring both to the condominium so we could look at them to see which one was better. She asked if I had dinner plans and said I told her no. Therefore, she brought the storage cabinets and we experimented not only with that but also with rearranging my room. My room (as I always referred to it) was on the small size and did not have good storage. BFNM had purchased a bench (with storage underneath) and an armoire and just crammed the furniture in the room with the bed. FW and I ended up positioning the bed caddy-corner in the room, moving the armoire to another wall and putting the bench on the wall opposite the foot of the bed. The only thing missing was a night table. I went into BFNM’s room found a piece of furniture that did not fit and repurposed it as a nightstand. We headed for drinks and dinner with mission accomplished for my weekend – rearranged the furniture into a more functional layout and found a storage cabinet for the bathroom.

Sunday was gorgeous. I walked into town, purchased a newspaper at the newsstand and then went over to the bagel shop for coffee and a bagel. I then found a nail place and had a manicure. I walked around town some more and found a great place for lunch and then decided to sit out in the town square and people watch. I also rang everyone I knew to talk to me while I sat in the town square soaking in the sun. It was nice but a little lonely. Then I received a text message. Yep, BFNM was checking up on me. He followed the text message with a quick phone call – I suppose DDG was taking a shower or something. We made plans for dinner that night. It was a long day. However, what happened at dinner was very unexpected.

I was starving by the time BFNM had returned to Portsmouth. We had a glass of wine at the condominium while he unpacked from his weekend. He had been on the road for over 4 hours. He was tired but in a very talkative mood. I told him about my weekend; he was thrilled with the way my room looked; and he loved the piece of furniture for the bathroom. He had also given me permission to rearrange the mess in his kitchen because he just could not figure out how to get all his stuff in his cabinets. I kept quite busy the entire weekend. Before he left, I told him I felt uncomfortable rearranging his furnishings. He said there was nothing in his belongings that I did not already know about and he knew I would not snoop. I told him to leave out a t-shirt and a sweater just in case the weather turned cooler than expected because I was not going to go through his dresser.

He talked about his weekend. He spent it cleaning the rental house. Yep, you heard me correctly. The reason DDG needed to go to the Cape that weekend was to get her rental house ready for the summer season and she needed help cleaning it. I was floored. First, I opened my mouth – I said that did not sound like it was very relaxing. Next, I inserted my foot – I asked if they did anything to progress the relationship because that did not sound relaxing nor romantic, as he had indicated his plans before he left. Lastly, my foot came out my asshole – I told him if my boyfriend had told me they wanted to spend a “relaxing and romantic” weekend away from the neurosis that was going on at work and then had me cleaning their rental house instead I would be furious. That last statement did not sit well with BFNM and he got so mad that he raised his voice (not yelling but louder and with a very firm tone) and told me I did not know what I was talking about and knew nothing of DDG and his relationship. I could not help it – the tears came out. We had a disagreement. I had pushed too far and crossed the line of offering an opinion when he never asked for an opinion. BFNM also realized that I was trying to apologize as soon as the words came out of my mouth. We had another defining point in our friendship.