The Story of BFNM - Part 4

I digressed. BFNM started evaluating opportunities outside the immediate area. I told him that although I would miss him and didn’t want to see him leave I also knew that he needed to do what was right for his career. I don’t know where I find my strength. Truth be told, it would have been entirely selfish of me if I had tried to get him to stay in the area just to see if anything would develop between us. I believe you don’t force relationships. Again, I wasn’t going to chase after him. If he decided it would be best to take a position in a different city then I would support him.

We spent his birthday together and then he was off to Florida to spend the holidays with his family. I knew he would be back after January 2 but I didn’t know how long he would be back. We talked, emailed or text message most days. He commented on how much time we had spent together. He mentioned that he was trying to go out on a date while he was in Florida. I listened. He called when he opened his Christmas card to thank me for the kind thoughts and well wishes. He called New Year’s Eve to wish me Happy New Years. He called New Years day. He told me he had been spending time with just one particular woman. He was having a good time. I told him he deserved a little happiness in his life. It was not my time.

He came back to the city and we went back to spending his free time together. Except there was something different. Anytime his cell phone rang, he would jump to see who it was. He took calls when before he would let them go to voicemail. He told me about the woman he spent time with in Florida. We discussed the pros and cons of him taking a position at a company in New Hampshire. He felt it was best and would put him in a better position for his foray into investment portfolio management. He told me DDG (ding-dong girl – by the time we get to the end of this story you will understand the acronym) was concerned about his move to New Hampshire and what the “distance” would mean to their “relationship.” I asked if he was dating her and why all the drama. He said well they did spend a lot of time together when he was in Florida and it appeared that he wanted to begin a relationship. He told me that he told her he didn’t know what was going to happen but that he wasn’t going to be a hermit in New Hampshire. If he wanted to go out with someone he met, he would ask her out.

February 10, 2006 was his last day here. I had no idea when I would see my BFNM again. My focus was on making sure my BFNM had a happy send off. We ate at all our favorite restaurants. I had to let him go. Again, I was sad. Every Thursday after he moved I would get a little sad even though we talked most nights. However, phone calls were sometimes cut short because he had to take the call from DDG. The first two weeks of his new job were stressful and that was only the beginning of the stress yet to come from working at that company. By February 17, DDG was already in New Hampshire. She booked trips to go to New Hampshire every 2-3 weeks after that. Do we all know what she was doing? I will give you a big hint – Chasing. Even if BFNM wanted to meet and go out with another woman there was no way that was going to happen with DDG coming in so frequently. I kept my mouth shut. I could see where this relationship was heading but it was not my place to say anything. BFNM didn’t express displeasure with the visits and he claimed it was relaxing to have her around helping with finding a place to live and helping when his belongings arrived.

March 17 I entered the world of unemployment. BFNM suggested I come to New Hampshire to help with some processes that hadn’t been documented and that he was being pushed to have done. Somehow, I was able to put together a proposal, have it approved, arrange flights and hotels and get to New Hampshire on March 27. I couldn’t believe in just a few short weeks since BFNM had left that we were now in the same city. At least for a short while. It was so comforting to be around him again. He felt like home. We picked up just where we left off as friends and as business colleagues.

He mentioned DDG and I asked if he was dating her. He wanted to know how I determined such a thing. I said well since it appeared that they were spending all this time together intimately and he indicated that their first date had actually been during Thanksgiving I said that he should know after 3 months as to whether this was more than just a casual relationship. He seemed happy to admit he was dating but I wasn’t quite convinced on how all this was playing out.