Sunday, November 19, 2006

I'm here

I apologize for not posting in a few days. I needed to take a step back from the BFNM story. The closer the story caught up to the present the more emotional impact it was having on me and I needed to detach. I will tell you why I put the story out there to begin with. It was an email that BFNM wrote in response to DDG when she refused email as an acceptable form of communication until the "breakup" wounds had time to heal a little. DDG had inferred in the email that her emotional support was better than any emotional support that his family could give to him and that now he would be confined to the role of son, father, brother, and grandfather and it would be quite restrictive.

At this point DDG's email were becoming more melodramatic and her word usage was deteriorating (i.e., geometry of the movement of furniture; offer an augmental path; aspire to reach a higher ground; you need to explain to me the why of it). BFNM's diplomatic response just hit me in such a way that I knew he had done the right thing by sending the initial "breakup" letter via email. I also knew BFNM better than DDG. While she had spent close to 4 months living in the same household with this man, she had no idea who he was as a man. He has qualities in him that I had seen him exhibit before in business and now got the chance to see him exhibit those same qualities of decency, fortitude, rectitude, dignity, sense of what is right and responsible on a personal level.

I told BFNM he truly is a wonderful person and how much I appreciated him allowing me to be apart of his life. I told him that I only wish my last boyfriend could have been as caring and diplomatic as he has exhibited in his correspondence with DDG. I also could finally see that if he had tried to do this in person it would have been a war of words and how he was trying very hard to stay away from an all out blame session. He was actually protecting her feelings and she just didn't see it. It is why he kept telling her to take a step back, take some time and absorb all that he had written, begin the healing process and then perhaps they could speak either on the phone or in person.

As for any more parts to the BFNM story - here's a summary - she went from insisting he be out of her rental unit to allowing him to stay until the tenants arrived in December; BFNM decided he needed to disengage from DDG completely; BFNM made arrangements for all his furniture to be moved to storage; he finally met face to face with DDG, they talked but it was awkward; the meeting reinforced his feelings that he had done the right thing in ending the relationship; 2 weeks to the day of sending his "breakup" letter he had moved out of her rental unit and is now living with his sister and brother in law which is not without some downside; his brother in law is going through a rough time and took it out on BFNM which in turn has made BFNM rethink being in Florida altogether; no BFNM is not moving to Atlanta (thanks for wishing so); I'm just trying to keep BFNM in the United States; BFNM tried to go to London and rent a friend's flat but that didn't pan out because the friend has sold the flat - whew; I'm trying to convince him to stay on the east coast; I made the quick trip to Florida because I felt he needed to know that there is someone that believes in all that he has done and is doing; the trip was well worth the 12 hours in a car in two days; we continue daily contact; this is now another defining point in our relationship. I miss him very much.

6 comments:

Ramblin Rose said...

Okay I too hate beta blogger thinking of changing altogether away from blogger ..... No not MYSPACE.... Hate that too....

Love the story and ddg sounds like a dumbshit!!!! I have my fingers crossed BFNM will come to his senses soon...

Two Roads said...

Thanks RR - I'm thinking this is a "When Harry Met Sally" kind of story between BFNM and me. By the way, I am giving him for his birthday his own personal copy of the DVD. Perhaps he will see the similarities and hopefully it won't take 10 years! :) It doesn't hurt that he enjoys the movie too!

Paperback Writer said...

I have no words for that woman. None.

Two Roads said...

PW - you are not alone in your feelings. She was just so wrong on many levels. BFNM attempted the relationship knowing that behavior exhibited in business might rear its ugly head in her personal life. He's an optimist that way but he also realized when it was time to leave and did so without laying blame.

Swishy said...

I have a Harry, too. Actually more of a Johnny Cash from Walk the Line. We're going into Year 3. I hope it doesn't take 10 years there, either.

Two Roads said...

Swishy - patience is a virtue - we both apparently have a lot of it! Sending good wishes to you and your Johnny.