Friday, September 08, 2006

Feeling Blue

Do you hide your feelings? Do your friends and family know who you really are? Do you know what makes you happy? Does it make you happy today and not tomorrow? Can you accept yourself for your blue feelings and still have a happy life? How have your "big sisters and big brothers" help you see yourself for who you are? Do you believe in your own inner strength? Do you believe you deserve the best? What are you doing to get where you want to be? Why is it so hard to express your feelings? Why is it so hard for someone to hear your feelings as it relates to them? Especially when they hear that you have hurt feelings?

I hear this all the time - "I want to meet someone who can express themselves and not retreat when things aren't going in the direction you thought they were going." So you think - aha - someone I can finally open up to because they want to understand the nuances of getting along - the good feelings and the bad feelings. So you express your feelings or you ask why something which surprised you was said in a particular manner because you understood the situation differently. BAM - you are hit on the head because they don't understand how their action could have caused your reaction. They instead try to fix something that isn't necessarily broken it just needs a little more explanation to make sure you are both on the same page. So, were we ever on the same page? Can we ever have hurt feelings without guilt?

I realize the ability to express feelings is hard for many people. Nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and we all have different levels of how we deal with our feelings. You shouldn't feel guilty for expressing yourself and you shouldn't put the other person in a position of defending them selves for something they thought was very innocent because they have feelings too. It takes a conscious effort to express yourself and not "walk on eggshells". I'm still learning. The biggest factor in communicating successfully is just being aware of the words that you use.

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