Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Really, exactly what do I have to say?

Background: I have broken off with this man twice because he told me he didn't see any future with me. He tells me there is no fire, I ate the wrong foods, he doesn't like my family, he doesn't like my friends, I'm not girly-girly enough for him, my shoes aren't strappy enough, my clothes are just average. Honestly, who says all this shit to a woman? Well he does.

So the last time I broke things off I told him he needed to seek professional help. He thought I was being loving. GEEZ!

Anyway, it was Yom Kippur yesterday and I suppose he was feeling guilty (as he was suppose to be asking for forgiveness of his sins) and he calls me. God must have been looking after me because I wasn't home so he left a message. He wished me a happy new year, apologized for the way he walked away for the second time and wanted me to show up at temple to go to services with him. Perhaps he had a brain fart - I only do temple with those I love and because they need me there for them; otherwise I practice my religion how I see fit.

So I send him the following email:

R, I received your phone message this afternoon. I hope you have a healthy, happy new year. I appreciate the apology.

In regards to getting together, I believe I was pretty clear in my last email correspondence to you about the conditions under which I would meet you again – namely after you have talked with a therapist and then I would meet with you and your therapist or you could meet with me and my therapist. You chose at that time not to see the significance in what counseling could provide as far as reconciling feelings. I chose a different path and do not care to rehash any of those feelings.

I do not understand why you continue to reconcile your feelings for me. You seem to have made your feelings for me pretty clear – I am not the woman for you. I really feel that speaking with a therapist on why you continue to have feelings for me would be of great benefit to you. Until such time, I must decline any contact with you.

All the best to you,


So here is his response (totally unedited - and yes he writes in incomplete sentences and thoughts. For my readers you probably know my writing style is very complete so his correspondance is quite disconcerting.):

You're welcome, fair enough. (He doesn't even begin the reply using my name. WTF?)

For the record, why not agree to a therapist, 'cause they help you understand your state of mind & what to do with it.
(Exactly what I said. You need to understand your mind.)

Two mature, conscientious adults don't need a third party therapist to moderate the discussion of their feelings for each other & find a sensible solution.
(Yes they do need a therapist Sherlock when two people are not communicating with each other.)

Why did I choose to leave you? I was having a problem with the return of your weight
(I gained 10 pounds because I was absolutely too skinny and I couldn't continue to maintain that kind of lifestyle. I have now leveled out at a weight that I can live with and maintain.); it turned me off. (Again, who says this shit?) I liked how slim/muscular you were in August 2004. (No you didn't because back then I had no curves and wasn't girly-girly enough for you.)

Why do I keep reconciling my feelings for you every so often??
(I have no f*cking clue! Exactly why you need therapy.)

A culutural connection between us, genuine love from you to me, and honest intimacy (whether sharing a meal, holding hands down the street, or more) is a very powerful thing to me.
(Translation - " I haven't been laid in awhile. Want to be my friend with benefits?" )

Intelligence, independence and seasoned maturity are attractive to me.
If you decide to talk to me, I'm home 'til 6pm. E is out today.
(E is the hateful sister. She thinks I keep running back to her brother when in reality he keeps running back to me. Yes, he lives with his sister but keeps threatening to move out. Whatever.)

Your turn to comment... R.
(Is this a blog now?)

So I fowarded this email to my best friend with a comment: This guy is like a leech. I can't get rid of him. My best friend responded: Pour salt on him. Did I mention that I love my best friend?

I'm taking donations of salt.


Neil said...

Is there anything redeeming about this guy? Doesn't sound like it. Why even leave a possibility open? No amount of therapy is going to change a man who wants to leave you for gaining ten pounds.

Paperback Writer said...

You might need rock salt.

Two Roads said...

Just to give you peace of mind - I am not responding to R.'s email and I really do hope he gets the message and talks his feelings out with a therapist and not me. My feelings for him are over and have been for quite awhile.

It would be nice to throw salt at him though. :)

Brony said...

Good luck with that.