Saturday, October 28, 2006

In preparation for Thanksgiving

I know, I know - we haven't even celebrated Halloween yet but I wanted to give everyone a good start to practice these lines:

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready!


Neil said...

Now I remember why I look forward to that holiday!

Ramblin Rose said...

Ahh now I remember why I so miss this holiday in Oz.... :( Cool whip How I miss the stuff.... I used to eat frozen cool whip ... Yummoooo ..


Viscountess of Funk said...

Number 15 reminds me of learning about the birds and the bees when I was little. After I was told the technical stuff about what part goes in what part, I couldn't figure out how a little soft tube could get stuffed into such a tight space; did the man have to stuff it in like a sock? Would it stay there? What if it fell out? How long did the man/woman need to lay there to make a baby? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE AFTER YOU STICK IT IN???

When I explained the gory details to my daughter, she asked, "you and Dad had to do THAT? Yuck!. Then I told her grownups actually LIKE to do that. She looked at my incredulously and said, "but WHY?"

Churlita said...

Who knew Thanksgiving could be so fun and naughty?

Swishy said...

Those never fail to crack me up. :)

Two Roads said...

VOF - what a great story!

Churlita - it always helps to have an open-minded family. Off color jokes are always a hit at our dinners!

RR - no Cool Whip? Goodness how ever can you enjoy strawberry shortcake?

Paperback Writer said...

We get two Thanksgiving dinners. One with his family and the other with my family.

Two Roads said...

Everybody is coming to my house - in laws and all. This is my absolute favorite day of the year and I actually enjoy cooking the turkey and don't mind the clean up!

Manic Mom said...

HILARIOUS! Did you come up with this list on your own? Too funny!