Friday, September 01, 2006

Can you hear me now?

I can’t help but love the quirkiness of my parents. After 53 years of marriage, 4 kids and 2 of the sweetest (yes, I am biased) grandkids, my parents have become a great source of entertainment. My parents still can’t communicate with or hear one another. I don't know what the problem was tonight.

Tonight’s episode:

Mom: Your brother (BRO) and sister in law (SIL – there’s one of those made up Acronyms) are going to be on TV.
Two Roads (TR): Really? The US Open?
Mom: You know about that?
TR: Yes Mom, it’s been on TV all week. SIL even text messaged me to ask if I had seen Agassi play.
Mom: Oh, well they said they would be wearing white shirts.
TR: Sure they are and also the other 20k people there.
Mom: Well Dad was going to call your BRO on his cell and tell them to wave.
TR: Good luck finding them on your 13-inch television.

Therefore, being that I like to confirm these things, I had to call BRO to find out if this was all true. My parents are notorious for messing up the details.

TR: So, how’s the tennis?
BRO: Good, why?
TR: Aren’t you at the US Open?
BRO: No, I told Dad that we would be there last night. Why?
TR: Because Mom and Dad think that you are there tonight and are waiting until a little later to call your cell and make you wave so they can see you on TV.
BRO: UGH, we were in the nosebleed section; no cameras up there; we needed binoculars to see the action anyway and we were there last night. Anything else? (My BRO likes to get to the point.) You’re using up my cell minutes.
TR: Well I’m trying to use my unlimited long distance calling plan I just put in place because I know how much you love to converse. (Not.)
BRO: Oh, I just wanted to take a nap before dinner. (This must be a family trait on the male side once they reach 50.)
TR: Okay, touch base over the weekend when you have free minutes.

Back to Mom

Mom: What now? (She has caller ID)
TR: Is that anyway to answer the phone?
Mom: No, but I’m in the middle of cooking.
TR: You missed the BRO and SIL. They were at the US Open last night. They tried to get tickets tonight but it was sold out.
Mom: But Dad said it was tonight hold on.
In the background, Dad said he knew it was last night and he was going to watch the tape repeat and then call BRO. I tell Mom the tape repeat played at 12:30am this morning.
Mom: Oh, I guessed we missed him. Okay, I’ve got to get back to the steaks.

This was a mild mistake compared to some of the misquotes they’ve come up with. However, it does remind me of a conversation I overhead at a party 2 weeks ago:

Girl: Are you going anywhere special for vacation?
Guy: Yes, I’m going to Rio.
Girl: What, you have gonorrhea?
Guy (now blushing in front of others in the crowd): No, I AM GOING TO RIO. (Using caps to indicate he had to talk over the music and crowd noise.)
Girl: Why are you telling me you have gonorrhea?
Girl: Oh, I couldn’t hear you.

I suppose even younger aged ears have problems hearing....

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Paperback Writer said...

There's this site I go on, semi-frequently, that's called Overheard in Pittsburgh. Funny stuff, and I'm sure a lot of these conversations might be mistakes.

Or not.


Two Roads said...

PW - seriously I get these conversations from my own friends and family. We should either be a soap opera or a comedy show!

Neil said...

That girl must have had something on her mind to hear Rio as gonorrhea.

Two Roads said...

I think it was the alcohol that did it!

Paperback Writer said...

[Side note: I wish I could lock my door and concentrate on writing. As it is there is always someone barging in and demanding my attention. It's very distracting and frustrating.]


Anyway, there's a novel in those overheard conversations!