Lindbergh's Crossing

Decisions, Decisions

2007-07-01T11:13:00.000-04:00

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

then get a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out,
at any hour, for as long and wherever you want .

then get a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the
remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit
next to you as you watch romantic movies

then get a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up
on your bed just to warm your feet and whom
you can push off if he snores .....

then get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what
you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly,
fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word
you say is especially worthy of listening to, and
loves you unconditionally, no matter what

then get a dog.
But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all
night and only comes home to eat and sleep,
and acts as if your entire existence is solely
to ensure his happiness:
Watch this next picture for a minute...

then get a cat!
You thought I was going to say, 'then get a man'

Answer me this

2007-06-27T22:12:00.000-04:00

Why would someone engage in one-night stands when what they say they seek is a highly intellectual, deeply emotional, long-term committment?

I'm not leaving

2007-06-04T21:13:00.000-04:00

But I thought I would give you a summer tune - lyrics by Bobby Vinton

'Tho we gotta say goodbye for the summer
Darling I promise you this
I'll send you all my love
every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss
Guess it's gonna be a cold lonely summer
But I'll fill the emptiness
I'll send you all my love
every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss
I'll see you in the sunlight
I'll hear your voice everywhere
I'll run to tenderly hold you
But darling you won't be there
I don't wanna say goodbye for the summer
Knowing the love we'll miss
Oh let us make a pledge to meet in September
And seal it with a kiss
Guess it's gonna be a cold lonely summer
But I'll fill the emptiness
I'll send you all my love
every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss

As if.......

2007-05-29T10:27:00.000-04:00

You see this is what happens when you have to stay home and wait for the GE repairman. You catch up on your blog reading at Citizen of the Month. Read an interesting comment by Finn and the next thing I know I have found my seduction sytle. Now if only I had someone to share my style with.....

New York City

2007-05-07T09:32:00.000-04:00

I want to thank everyone that donated for me walking in the EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer this past weekend. I believe this was the first year that the weather was absolutely beautiful the entire time. No rain and 68 degrees during the day - perfect for shorts and long sleeve t-shirts. Albeit the NYers were still wearing boots, scarves and heavy jackets. By the time all my collections get posted I will have also raised the most I have ever raised in the years I have been doing this walk - over $1800. It may not sound like a lot but I want my friends and family to give whatever amount they feel comfortable giving. So again, a big Thank You for contributing!

After the walk we went to Carnegie Deli and Susan/Lucille (who knows what her real name is) was our waittress. Feisty lady who had the whole table agog with her quick wit! "Can we order now?" "No, I get the drinks first, then take my heart tablet, then you can order your meal" I did a little shopping - 2 blouses, a skirt and 2 pairs of shoes - when did NYC stop charging tax on clothes? Of course, I had to go to the American Girl store and get my niece some accessories for her doll - Nicki (the girl of the year). You should check it out, this doll is so pretty - blond hair, light freckles and blue eyes. I was amazed at the setup - there is a beauty shop in the store that girls bring their dolls to have the doll's hair done (or redone or whatever you do with doll hair - I used to just cut it off and see if it would grow back). There is also a picture studio so girls can have their picture taken with their doll. What is so special about these dolls? Nothing from what I can tell. The dolls aren't even anatomically correct. The faces (doll heads) are very pretty and the clothes, accessories and marketing are fantastic.

Other places I ate: Dos Caminos - yummy, yummy guacomole - not your typical Mexican food fare; reservations highly recommended; Seattle Cafe - great food for decent price not a lot of seating; City Crab - good crab cakes and shrimp. Ruby Foos - the best spicy tuna sushi roll of any place I have had sushi.

All in all, it was a great trip for a worthwhile cause!

Bees & things

2007-04-22T18:43:00.000-04:00

What a weekend. BFNM is off to The Kingdom. For all those that don't know what or where The Kingdom is that would be Saudi Arabia. Now you may ask, why on earth would he go halfway across the world to work? Couldn't he find a job here? The answer isn't quite that simple. Most of the feedback that he got while pursuing other position was his lack of international exposure. International exposure in the sense of being in the thick of things not just looking at it from the outside. For almost two years he's been building a relationship with the management of the company of one of his friends from grad school. While he will be at the same company as his friend, he will be in a different location and not connected with any business that his friend is working on.

Before he left I tried to get him to sign up for Skype. I even went out and bought a video cam so that when we "talked" we could at least see each other. Not only is it expensive to talk via the cell phone but it also cost (him not me) to send text messages. He is not sure of how good his internet access will be in his location - for now the blackberry works. His landed safely and will be looking for a permanent residence aka secured compound. He took a piece of my heart with him to keep him safe. I probably won't sleep very well for the next 12 months.

As to the bees, I awoke this morning to a swarm of bees in my bathroom. I freaked out. Not just a little freaked out, a big freaked out. My condo association did not consider it a valid emergency. Now this is not like something I could fix or prevent on my own. I live essentially on the third floor of a 4 story building and the bees apparently were coming through the bathroom vent that is suppose to take moisture & smells out of the bathroom. When I went outside to take a look there were hundreds of bees swarming around the vent and it looked like a flap that would prevent anything from getting in was missing. Most likely the bees have setup a nest and now that winter is officially over they are through hibernating. I complained to the president of the condo and showed her my bee graveyard. I killed almost 25 bees before things settled down. I'm not sure where the bees went but I am scared they will be back. I called 911 and they gave me the name of a Bee guy who I promptly called and he said he would come out but he never showed up. So tomorrow I am hoping I can get a pest control out here to take care of this. I just hope they have a ladder or spray that can reach high enough and accurately enough to the vent to make sure they kill the nest. I'm taking suggestions on what to do in the interim.

So I now have two things to keep me up tonight - thinking about BFSM's (Best Friend Saudi Man) safety and my safety of not getting stung in the middle of the night.

One More Week

2007-04-22T18:39:00.000-04:00

I leave in a week for NYC. On Saturday May 5th, I am participating in the 10th Anniversary of the Revlon Run/Walk for Women in New York. This will be my 8th year as a participant. As an event participant, I am also helping raise money by collecting donations. I participate in this walk in honor and in memory of my friends and family that have been affected not only with Breast Cancer but any cancer. It's important to take a proactive role in combating this disease.

I really would appreciate your help. So to make a donation don't be shy please send me an email at tworoads335 at gmail dot com and I will send you a link so that you may donate. Thanks ever so much for helping!

EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer - NYC May 5 2007

2007-04-16T20:09:00.000-04:00

On Saturday May 5th, I am participating in the 10th Anniversary of the Revlon Run/Walk for Women in New York. This will be my 8th year as a participant. As an event participant, I am also helping raise money by collecting pledges and donations. This 5 K event was a huge success last year. I participate in this walk in honor and in memory of my friends and family that have been affected not only with Breast Cancer but any cancer. It's important to take a proactive role in combating this disease.

I could really use your help. To make a pledge please send me an email at tworoads335 at gmail dot com and I will send you a link so that you may donate. Thanks ever so much for helping!

Yesterday

2007-04-10T22:08:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was my birthday. Not a big one - that's for next year. Big birthdays are defined as ending in 5 or 0. Let's just say next year's ends with a zero. Wow, hard to believe. Anyway, here's what I received from BFNM. Do you see a theme here?

The book titles are: The Kitty Kama Sutra (because he knows I refer to the Kama Sutra for everything!); 50 Dates Worse than Yours (because he knows all about the jerk Hardbody); and Bad Sex (because he's had it and I haven't!).

He also bought me the most beautiful scarf from Hermes - my first real designer scarf. I'm going out and buying an outfit to wear with the scarf. Or should I just wear the scarf as the outfit? HMMMMMMMMMMMM, possibilities. :>)

Love to you all! Have a great day!

Let's talk

2007-04-04T22:36:00.000-04:00

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."
Hubert Humphry

"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
John Ruskin

"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else."
Laurence J. Peter

"A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong."
Unknown

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."
Douglas Adams

"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."
Woodrow Wilson

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."
George Bernard Shaw

Cars

2007-04-02T21:42:00.000-04:00

Where do cars come from? Why from baby cars, of course...

Chances Are

2007-04-01T19:21:00.000-04:00

Well, here we are again;
I guess it must be fate.
We've tried it on our own,
But deep inside we've known
We'd be back to set things straight.

I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new.
Every memory repeats,
Every step I take retreats,
Every journey always brings me back to you.

After all the stops and starts,
We keep coming back to these two hearts,
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall.
After all that we've been through,
It all comes down to me and you.
I guess it's meant to be,
Forever you and me, after all.

When love is truly right
(this time i'ts truly right.)
It lives from year to year.
It changes as it goes,
Oh, and on the way it grows,
But it never disappears,

Always just beyond my touch,
You know I needed you so much.
After all, what else is livin for?

A typical conversation

2007-03-30T21:08:00.000-04:00

Big life changing decisions should always be given the appropriate due diligence to ensure that the path you are choosing is one you really want to go down. While you have said over these many months that you look forward to starting a life outside the United States, when it comes down to actually making the decision it is not easy. Conditions surrounding family and health always play a role in the “what should I do next” stage of life. On that note, here are some things we discussed this afternoon:

At this time, do NOT go back to Job Potential #1 concerning the base salary. Go through with your interviews with Job Potential #2 and inform them that you have an offer on the table which you are considering and need to know the exact nature of the work they are considering you for and a time frame of making a decision. Once you have definitive information from Job Potential #2, you will be able to better assess the offer with Job Potential #1. If the Job Potential #2 offer is not forth coming or the offer is only for short-term assignments, then now will be the time to approach Job Potential #1 with a counteroffer to the base salary. Perhaps you should list out things you consider to be a “standard” benefit if you were working in the US and ensure that you consider these items when you are negotiating your base compensation and benefits. If Job Potential #2 makes you an offer or is in a position to turn around an offer quickly, you will then have to weigh the offer against the one from Job Potential #1. It is very important that you get as much information regarding the entire package with Job Potential #2 (location, housing, health insurance, trips to the US, how they pay, if moving expenses are covered, etc.). I assume that since this company operates in an atmosphere that you are more familiar with then the compensation/benefits package will be something that will be somewhat standard. If you now have an offer from both Job Potential #1 and Job Potential #2, you will now be a position to evaluate the pros and cons of each offer. SWOT – strengths (what will you be able to offer); weaknesses (what will you be able to learn); opportunities (what will you be able to take advantage of); threats (what will prevent you from taking this job) might be a good way to analyze. Your analysis would be along the lines of which will offer you the most advantages/opportunities – financial & progressive advancement in the shortest amount of time; which will have the least amount of lifestyle change for you and your family; what are the key stresses of each position; how will each allow you to be the entrepreneur or at a minimum operate in an entrepreneur like atmosphere; how will you be able to continue to take care of your obligations in the US; and how will you handle being “alone”. Remember that while there may be “western-style” culture you are still an American living in a very different country and environment.

BFNM, I hope this helps. As always, you know you can call, ping or email any time. I may have only one eye open to type back a response or only one ear working if you call, but no matter I will awaken and respond. Always, Two Roads

To BFNM

2007-03-27T21:20:00.000-04:00

BFNM is halfway across the world on a job interview. I sent him off with a mantra - Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive outcome. He called me today to tell me he was falling asleep at his desk. This is for him:

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever, we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.

Now you out there rooting for BFNM and me to get together - ain't happening. Read my lips - ain't happening. However, we are best friends and I love him dearly in that capacity. I so want the best for him but it will be so hard when his job takes him to another part of the world. Naples, Florida is one thing - I can get there relatively quickly by car or plane. England, the Middle East or Asia is quite another thing. However, we will always be together in one way or another. No doubt.

So to BFNM - I told you in the very beginning of our friendship that I support any endeavor you want to pursue no matter where in the world it would take you. I've got your back. Unconditionally.

Can you tell I like these quizzes?

2007-03-25T09:59:00.001-04:00

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Pink

2007-03-20T20:34:00.001-04:00

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.

Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

This is BFNM

2007-03-18T15:09:00.000-04:00

You Are A Fig Tree

You are very independent and strong minded.

A hard worker when you want to be, you play hard too.

You are honest and loyal. You hate contradiction or arguments.

You love life, and you live for your friends, children, and animals.

A great sense of humor, artistic talent, and intelligence are all gifts you possess.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

That's me!

2007-03-18T15:03:00.000-04:00

You Are A Rowan Tree

You are full of charm and cheer. You light up a room.

And while you crave attention, you do it without ego.

You are an interesting mix of contradictions - and very unpredictable.

You are both dependent and independent, calm and restless.

You are passionate, emotional, gregarious, and (at times) unforgiving.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

He cleaned up the shit!

2007-03-17T17:15:00.000-04:00

Guess what? BFNM was in town this week. Just for 2 short days. I am house sitting for my friend with the big house, beautiful pool and lots of animals. BFNM had to come in town for his annual physical so he got to stay at the big house with me. Thank goodness he's an animal-person.

He came in Wednesday night and we went to our favorite restaurant. The same restaurant that when he lived here that between the two of us over the course of a year we spent over $4,000 in meals. Yep, we ate there alot. I know that chain is wondering why their bottle wine sales are off. Anyway, 4 hours of dinner later we made it to the big house. Big hug! Same friend kiss and off to our separate rooms. I didn't sleep good only because of the hot flashes. I am not sure if the hot flashes were hormonal or because all my dreams involved BFNM. Hah!

The next morning we had a leisurely morning sitting out on the screened porch enjoying our coffee and picking up our conversation from the evening before. He went off to see his doctors and I went to see mine. I scheduled an appointment as a cover so that I could go in late to work. Thursday night we met back up at the big house but neither was hungry so we scoped the three refrigerators for wine and found something we both would drink. We finished off a bottle of chardonnay before heading out for sushi - yummy! Thank goodness for DVR - Grey's Anatomy turned out to be a new episode and I knew we wouldn't make it back in time for the show.

I enjoy his company so much. We made a pact. When he gets his job in Europe or the Middle East then we will begin planning a spot to spend Thanksgiving week. Wherever he is that week will now be "our" vacation week. He said if we are seeing others that they would be welcomed along with his eldest daughter and eldest granddaughter. I said well don't plan on me bringing along anyone but I wouldn't mind if he had someone and since I already get along with his daughter and granddaughter that would be great. I have my fingers crossed that he finds something very soon to get him out of Naples. It's not been easy on him these last couple of months - his father passing away, his sister and brother in law being total assholes and now his mother's declining health. It has gotten so wonky with his sister I told him to just pack his bag and come to Atlanta and stay in my spare room. Unasked for advice and unreasonable expectations along with the immature behavoir of his brother in law is not a healthy environment.

Anyway, Friday morning when we awoke as I was making my way downstairs to feed the animals I stepped into throwup at the top of the stairs. It was very dry but none the less throw up. I looked close and it had carrots. That means the throwup came from the dog. UGH. So I cleaned it up and BFNM came out of his room with me kneeling down finishing cleanning up the floor. Thank goodness it was all on the hardwoods. So we head to the kitchen and what greets us. SHIT! No lie. Right in front of the refrigerator. I start freaking. Poor dog - something must have really upset his stomach to do that. I start searching for anything to clean the mess up without touching the SHIT. Meanwhile, BFNM has gotten the paper towels and cleaned it all up before I return with a broom and pan. OH MY GOODNESS! He cleaned up the shit! I couldn't believe it. That is one BEST FRIEND! He's a keeper. Forever. I love him. He knows it. He loves me. I know it. I have the BEST FRIEND EVER and FOREVER! (We are still just friends - that is just the way it is and will be. I am perfectly okay. He wanted to know what he does for me and I told him - my life is richer, calmer and full of love with him in it. It truly is and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

The dog is okay. I found out that I am not suppose to give the dog a carrot before he goes to bed for the night. The dog sleeps with his head hanging over the side of the bed and apparently makes him sick if he has a carrot in his stomach. And once it comes out of one end, it is possible it might come out the other end - which it did. Lesson learned. How lucky was I to have BFNM be here when this happened! :) Smiles everyone..

Happy Birthday, Neil

2007-03-07T00:09:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Citizen of the Month
Happy Birthday to you!

Round the mess hall you must go, you must go
Round the mess hall you must go, it's your birthday!

Live it up and may you have many more happy healthy years ahead!

Love, Two Roads

Reading list

2007-03-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

Here's what you do:Look at the list of books below.* (Bold) the ones you’ve read* Italicize the ones you want to read* Leave unchanged the ones that you aren’t interested in.* If you are reading this, tag, you’re it!

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austin)3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling) (known as Sorcerer's Stone in the US)17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)18. The Stand (Stephen King)19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)31. Dune (Frank Herbert)32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)34. 1984 (Orwell)35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)45. Bible Not all of it, of course, but some sizeable chunks.46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)54. Great Expectations (Dickens)55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)69. Les Miserables (Hugo)70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery) 71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)73. Shogun (James Clavell)74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)85. Emma (Jane Austen)86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Dumped the Hardbody

2007-03-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

Well I have been quiet for good reason. I have been giving Hardbody time to decide what kind of boyfriend he wanted to be. Friday night was the end. It's just too hard to be in a relationship with him. It's not fun.

Here's the setup - he emails me on Wednesday and asks if I would like to do a movie at my place. I agree. Thursday night he emails me as asks if he can sleep over Friday night because he has an early morning meeting near my place. My first reaction is - WTF? So I proceed to try to find out why he believes he's going to be at my place so late that he would have to stay the night. Personally, I don't care. The sofa (which Neil so eloquently wrote about at mundane-mundane) is quite comfortable and adequate for any friend for a night. So first I ask if he's still has his cold and he says no (thinking maybe he wants a little TLC - ok that's not it). I then tell him his cold is gone because he gave it to me (thinking maybe he will offer a little pampering to me) so I ask him who's coming over Friday night - friend Hardbody or boyfriend Hardbody because I sensed I wasn't going to be at my best and I wanted to know what to expect from the guy that showed up. He responds: Your friend who'd like to talk out the couple pending between us. So I respond: Well as a friend you are more than welcome to stay but on the sofa. As a boyfriend, better, upgraded accomodations are available. His response then annoyed me: Very funny (_e=mc2_); a woman's gotta protect herself. (For those that don't get the emoticon emails the e=mc2 bit translates to "smartass"). I was not amused and didn't respond.

He then switches gears on me and writes: Hugs only, tomorrow. I'll help you get rid of it as best I can. So I asked what time he planned on coming over and tell him I have taken out some chicken and we can fix dinner before the movie. He says that sounds good and please pick up the movie. What? He asked me to pick up the movie. Did I read that correctly? Wasn't he the one that suggested movie night at my condo? Why was I expected to pick up the movie? Did I misunderstand something in the invite? So I write: Why am I getting the movies? Blockbuster is not convenient to anywhere I drive. Besides this was your suggestion. I just offered to make dinner. You ready for this, his response: I was not aware; I'll p/u the movies. Second reaction - WTF!

Yes, fans - it gets better. Friday around 1:30pm I receive the following email: Two Roads, looking forward to an evening with u tonite. If u want to share wine, please p/u a bottle @ target on your way home. Do I need to bring a bag of veggies to make w/dinner tonite? I am not kidding you guys - this is verbatim how this man writes. Again, I ask - why am I now being "reminded" to pick up wine if I want to share it? Was he being thoughtful for the suggestion? Was he trying to tell me he would like some wine with dinner and that I should provide that too? I have no idea. I responded with: I have everything if you drink red wine. Let me know if red is ok.

Now, how many of you pick out your wine at Target? Not me. I didn't even know Target had a wine section. I don't buy my groceries at Target much less wine so this would be a new experience for me. However, when I do buy my wine, I get it either from Kroger, Publix, Whole Foods or the liquor store. So for those who get their wine at Target I sincerely apologize for being ignorant about making such purhases. What really got me was the manner in which the suggestion was made. "If you want to share wine, please p/u a bottle". What if I didn't want to share the bottle of wine would I still have to pick it up? Did I have to get the wine from Target? What if I wanted just a glass of wine, would that have been okay? Again, the manner of his communication with me leaves me confused.

When he finally arrived - late. I didn't say a word. He agreed to meet at my condo at 6pm on a Friday night. The worst traffic night of the week. For someone who claims they are so considerate and street smart they would know that extra travel time would be involved especially since they were picking up the movie before coming to my condo so that they would arrive within 10 or 15 minutes of the 6pm time frame. 45 minutes late. I repeat, I didn't say a word. I had the salad made, the veggies ready for the microwave, the chicken marinating and the wine open and breathing.

So I thought I would start the evening off with - which guy has shown up - the friend or the boyfriend. He asked if I really wanted to get into the conversation before dinner. I said it didn't bother me. He proceeded to tell me all the things he likes about me and then the one thing he doesn't like about me - I'm not a hardbody - nor do I aspire to be one. He asked if that was wrong for him to think that way? I said no, it wasn't wrong, if that is what he truly needed then it was not for me to say it was wrong. I told him that I didn't think it was realistic as he had yet to find any woman (other than me) that had as many of the other qualities that he needed too. I told him that while my physical attraction preference was to date men that are 6'1" or taller with brown hair I did not find him unattractive because he is 5'9" with greying black hair. When I find someone unattractive it has more to do with their character, morals, ethics or intelligence and not so much their physical attributes. True, I couldn't date someone who is morbidly obese - I'm human not a saint. But I could and am friends with several people who are very overweight much as I am friends with blacks, hispanics, catholics, jews, mormons, younger people, older people, tall people, short people, and thin people. So I could understand that if he didn't want to date me because I didn't meet his physical attribute test it just didn't matter any more. I didn't care. He's not getting any younger and to have such strict expectations on someone he was only setting himself up for a life of being alone. I posed the scenario that he would find that hardbody woman and she would end up having an ex-husband and three kids - then what was he going to do? Well, naturally while he would finally be physically attracted to that person he didn't like the idea of the ex and kids. I told him that there was always going to be something like that. I suggested he needed to grow up. I told him that he and I were just not in the same place. I have a more realistic expectation of what a man should be for me. And if he happens to have an ex-wife, kids and maybe even grandkids I had to be prepared.

What I truly need is someone who wants me in their life. Someone who is intelligent, caring, compassionate, passionate, funny, and loving. Someone who has common sense, a desire to explore together - explore by expanding our knowledge and life experiences - someone who brings calm to my life as I do to their life. Someone who knows how to woo and court a woman. Someone who know how to communicate. If they happen to be 5'9" and are carrying an extra 5-10lbs, I will still be able to love them.

He sat on one end of the sofa. I sat on the other end. We watched the movie and when it was over, he went home. BFNM just so happen to call as Hardbody was leaving. BFNM lifted my spirits.

It's Sunday - has Hardbody even called or sent an email to inquire how I am feeling? No.

Decision affirmed: Hardbody is history. For good. No more chances. He is just too immature and selfish.

How much time?

2007-02-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

I had a date with HB (hardbody). First the acronym - it's not the best I could come up with but it is the most descriptive. So anyway, I am still trying to work things out in my head. It takes several emails/conversations back and forth to even coordinate an evening out. The issue this week was I am back at the big house - dog/cat/housesitting and I can't leave before I have fed and walked the dog at 6:30pm. We had met for dinner earlier in the week and shared a meal. Now when I say share I mean he bought one dish and we split it. I was very put off by this. I can understand someone being careful with their money (as I was during my unemployment) but I never invited someone out to eat and then asked them to split a meal. So I wasn't exactly looking forward to a Saturday night date. I had rehearsed over and over in my head how I was going to broach the subject of not dating but just continue on a friendly basis. Best laid plans - do they ever work? I seem to think it's a figment of our imagination.

I was prepared this time for dinner. I had a late afternoon lunch so that I wouldn't leave dinner hungry. We got to the restaurant and was seated immediately. We were having sushi. I had been looking forward to this meal all week and knew exactly what I wanted. It took me about 2 minutes to look over the menu. So when the waiter came, HB told me to go ahead and order and then he sent the waiter away without himself ordering. I'm thinking what's going on. Is he tabulating the cost of the meal trying to decide how much he can order? The waiter came back and he still wasn't ready to order. I was starting the get embarrassed. I finally told him he had to decide. Halfway through the meal, I decided to talk about being friends. I know you guys hate these conversations but I was not prepared for what HB had to say in return.

He is going to give me time and space I need to gain back trusting him. He had done nothing but think about what he wants in his life and who he wants in my life and he believes with all his heart that I am that person. So he will continue to date me and if he does anything that I feel uncomfortable with (pursuing me faster than I am ready) then all I have to do is say so and he will take it down a notch. We were done with dinner by 9:30pm but still had things to talk about so we found a Starbucks to people watch and talk. We kept the kisses - lukewarm. The hot ones just get too freaking hot! We are not doing Valentine's day but we are going to have dinner again on Thursday night. (I'm not sharing this time - even if I have to pay for my own meal!)

Power Color

2007-02-11T20:45:00.000-05:00

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest:

You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.

At Your Lowest:

You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.

In Love:

You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.

How You're Attractive:

Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.

Your Eternal Question:

"What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

I was tempted

2007-01-29T19:57:00.000-05:00

Well, the ex & I had a date on Saturday night. It took a few emails back and forth to get the plans together but we succeeded. Pet peeve from the first time around - he would always show up late for dates. He showed up on time Saturday. I just decided to be me and gave him a hug and a peck greeting. We were both kind of nervous so we stood for most of the time we were at the condo. We headed off to Ikea to do a little window shopping. While there was nothing there in particular that I needed to buy, the place is so huge it gave us an opportunity to stroll and "play" with the furniture and be flirty. When things were good with us we always had a lot of fun doing the mundane. We began to get a little more cozy with each other - holding hands and him giving me little unexpected hugs. At this point I was ready for a kiss but I restrained myself. What can I say, I have always been attracted to him.

After Ikea, we were off to try out a new restaurant - Fresh2Order. Very interesting concept. Very yummy food. I would definitely go back. We were both feeling a little less tense. I stepped away to go to the ladies room and fired off two IMs to let my friends know I was having a pleasant evening. It was one of the few times I really felt like I was special with the ex. We continued to talk about some of the issues that would drive each other away. My emotions were definitely conflicted.

Next stop was a comedy club. Not too raunchy, decent humor. Here's where I began to enjoy myself. I couldn't help but want to lean in close, hold hands or have the ex put his arm around me and bring me close to him. Struck up a conversation with a couple sitting out our table. And then it was time to take me home. Oh dear. What to do now. The inside of my condo is trouble. My sofa is trouble. Makeout session ensued. Just like the very first time we met. Kisses of fire. He left at 1am. All clothes remained on. I was definitely tempted. My emotions just as much conflicted as at the beginning of th evening. I have a lot of thinking to do.

I'm a slug

2007-01-16T21:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay - I can't believe I have fallen down on my writing duties of providing my millions of fans with the ever changing drama of my life. Let's see where to begin. Ahh, employment - what a change of pace from unemployment. More like a change of pace from my last two jobs. Freedom to do what I want with my department. No micromanagers here. Nobody afraid I will take over their job. Candy dishes always full of my favorite chocolates - which I walk all the way around the office to avoid. All you can drink Diet Dr. Pepper. A 4 minute walk to one mall - way dangerous - as I can go shopping at lunch and spend my paycheck very easily. I already "treated" myself to a new briefcase at the Tumi Store - on sale of course! A 5 minute ride in the car to the other mall. So much for employment.

BFNM - he's still in Florida. He's having to make hard decisions concerning the declining health of his parents. It's very sad and my thoughts and heart go out to him. He will be off to London in two weeks for job interviews. I know you want to know how I feel about that - I'm encouraging him to go. He has dreams he needs to fulfill in his life. I understand his wanderlust because I too have that wanderlust. What he needs is love and support in this decision to be far from friends and family. One thing I have always done with BFNM is have his back. I surprised him two years ago when I supported a business decision he was making and continue to have his back when he needs me.

Ex-boyfriend - I am looking for a good acronym for this guy. He's indescribible. That is his personality. As for his body - there are no complaints in that department. He works out - alot - I mean a whole lot. So unlike my body (which is soft like a woman's body should be) he is a hard body. The reason why he's an ex is that he wants my soft body to be harder. If you have ever seen me at the gym you would kick me out. I'm a girl. I'm a such a klutz I can't even skip rope much less run wind sprints much less run. I hate the treadmill (boring), stationary bike (well it's stationary) and the row machine (not enough wind). I don't mind the elliptical until you have to get off and then I have wobbly legs. Oh and that sweating thing - yuck! What is worse is his obsession with every single morsel of food that goes in his mouth. The last time we spoke I told him he had an eating disorder. He may have a great body but in my opinion what he considers healthy habits I consider abnormally extreme to achieve. He wants to see me again. I won't let him at least not yet. I told him when I was ready we would have to meet in a public place because we all know what would happen if I let him in my condo or I go to his place. Yep, I'd give in the moment he tried to kiss me. Easier not to be swayed by meeting in public. For now I'm most comfortable with email, im and phone calls. Am I being silly?

Weather - the storm is coming this way and I still haven't gotten to the grocery store. I have plenty of Tab, weight watcher ice cream bars, and bottled water. Oh, I just found a can of soup. If there is one piece of ice on the roads, I will be staying put. Maybe now would be a good time to get back with the ex just for extra warmth. HMMMMMMM..........

Hope all are safe and warm wherever you are. Be happy.

Resolutions ala Ellen DeGeneres

2007-01-01T21:44:00.000-05:00

I read an article over this past weekend by Ellen DeGeneres about how she goes about making New Year's Resolutions and decided to fashion mine in that same vain. So here are my resolutions for 2007:

Pick out, purchase and hang drapery for the living room.
Pick out and purchase a new sofa.
Pick out, purchase and have installed tile for the backsplash in the kitchen.
Schedule a consultation with a designer on how to fix the lighting and storage issues in the kitchen.
Have all the carpets cleaned by a professional cleaning service.
Paydown my credit card debt.
Schedule back massages and pedicures once a month.
Exercise more - just not right now.
Update my wardrode with one new item a month.
Enjoy life.

Here's the message I received from my BFNM:

Two Roads, on this eve of 2007, I want to let you know that the best gift I have ever been given is your friendship. Happy New Year and may you have the healthiest, happiest and most prosperous year, yet.

Here's the message I sent to BFNM:

BFNM, you mean the world to me. Here's to everything good in 2007! With much love, Two Roads

To All: Happy 2007! I look forward to having good things to read and good things to write! All my best to each and everyone of you!

Love, Two Roads

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday. I've been lurking and trying to get out of my December funk. A week on the new job and I am seeing a little progress. I even got three gifts from my co-workers - how sweet! It's a short week this week - we have tomorrow off too. Just because I'm not posting doesn't mean I'm not reading. Just in case - Happy New Year.

The rest of my Lights!

2006-12-18T21:58:00.000-05:00

I like this one even though it is blurry.

Jalapenos are my favorite lights!

This is the dining room side of my double sided fireplace. The other side is in yesterday's post.

Decisions

2006-12-17T20:54:00.000-05:00

December - least favorite month of the year. Heart hurts.......

I'm a big shot now

2006-12-16T09:30:00.000-05:00

Well I made it through two days on my job and didn't get mad at anyone. I went to lunch with my bosses and they actually listened. I still have to prove myself to the consultant but I think he will be pleasingly surprised on Monday when he sees how I've revamped a few things. For now I am in an office the size of a small effeciency apartment. That location will be short lived when they make some seating changes. Besides I'm on the opposite of the building from my staff and the ladies room. I'm 5'10" and I like wearing 2-3 inch heels but the pumps are a killer when you have to walk for an extended period of time or distance. Needless to say, I had a few blisters by the end of the day. It's nice to be productive again.

Typepad

2006-12-11T00:14:00.000-05:00

Am I the only one that continues to get this error message every time I try to leave a comment on someone who has a blog with Typepad? What is going on? I can't figure out if it's because I'm using IE7 or it doesn't like my information. Frankly it's getting ridiculous. I would appreciate hearing from anyone that has any information regarding how to correct this situation so that I can leave messages. Thanks!

We're sorry...
Your comment has not been posted because we think it may be comment spam. We routinely monitor comment activity and block comments that exhibit patterns of abuse. We apologize if you believe you've reached this message in error.
Nous sommes désolés...
Votre commentaire n'a pas été posté car nous pensons qu'il puisse être du spam. Nous surveillons continuellement l'activité des commentaires et nous bloquons les commentaires qui nous semblent abusifs. Nous vous présentons nos excuses si vous pensez que vous avez atteint ce message par erreur.
Lo sentimos...
Su comentario no se ha publicado porque creemos que podría tratarse de spam. Monitorizamos la actividad de los comentarios de forma rutinaria para bloquear los comentarios que muestran signos de abuso. Lo sentimos si cree que ha llegado a este mensaje por error.

The made me an offer and I was very happy to accept!

2006-12-10T16:44:00.000-05:00

Woo hoo! While it has been fun from traveling up and down the east coast from Portsmouth, NH to New York City to Naples, Florida to shopping during the weekday to “doing” lunch with former co-workers to keeping Moe’s in business, my life of leisure is ending. This Thursday I head back to work. I have title – Chief Financial Officer; I am hoping I will have a window office but to be sure, I will be on the 24th floor of a 24-story building with spectacular views of the city of Atlanta; I have a 3-mile commute; and I will be working at one of the up and coming boutique law firms in the city.

I want to thank each and every one of you out here in blogland who have been so supportive and encouraging when I was really down on myself. I can't describe how much it meant to me when everyone was saying hang in there. As much as I ascribe to a positive attitude and have been almost too calm through all this, there were still dark days and you always got me back on the path and going forward. Just because I will be employed does not mean I am giving up blog posting. Like Julia Louis-Dreyfus in the New Adventures of the Old Christine I will be proud to bring you the New Adventures of the Old Two Roads. Gosh think of all the material going on in a law firm - Boston Legal comes to mind - the next Crane Poole & Schmidt....

Oh happy Sunday.

I am the Sun

2006-12-10T09:48:00.000-05:00

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

My rank 279,993

2006-12-09T14:40:00.000-05:00

Wow, just under 280,000. I sure have come a long way since my early days of blogging. Way back on September 7, 2006 I was a mere rank of 1,088,701. Now should I really be concerned with my ranking of today? When I compare myself to Citizen of the Month who is currently ranked at 6,292, I have a long way to go to be popular. There seems to be some angst over what to do about blog rolls and the effect it has on rankings and feelings.

If you have taken the time to review my site, you will notice that I don't have very many links to other blogs. First because it is freaking time consuming to put those links in there because I am not a HTML programmer and I find the new beta blogger just as inane; second because I am an anti-clutter the screen person so I don't want long lists of anything; third, again with the HTML, although I have that "bloglines" link in there it doesn't do anything even though I thought it was supposed to take you to my bloglines list and then you could peruse for yourself all the blogs I was reading. I tested Neil's bloglines link and the message I got was: You are already subscribed to that blog. Gee I didn't know that! I thought it was suppose to take me to Neil's list so that I could peruse other blogs. Apparently not. So what's the point of even having that link on my site? Perhaps I should remove it. Finally, it's okay if people put me on their lists or not. They know who I am when I comment and every once in awhile they stop by and leave a comment. I'm not in this to make money or to compete for rankings or a book deal. This is all about me. I enjoy writing. I enjoy reading. I enjoy opinions - mine and other's. I enjoy having fun. I enjoy the virtual interaction and hopefully one day when Neil comes to Atlanta I will finally get to have a face to face conversation with someone who is intrigued by life as much as I am. I welcome the opportunity to meet any other blogger in person too. I wouldn't read you and comment on your posts if I didn't like you.

Another thing I stopped doing - putting tags on my posts. Do you get that I don't like programming languages? It was just too much trouble creating the tags and then adding them to each and every posts. Again, what was the point? My blog would be competing with a million other blogs on that particular tag. I get a kick just knowing my blog shows up in Google searches. That's way more entertaining to me. :D

There is something I do like that Citizen of the Month uses and that is the Blog Crush of the Day. Perhaps that is an easier way to let other's know what you are reading instead of having a long blog roll. Maybe have Blog Crush of the Day, Blog Crush of the Week, Blog Crush of the Month and Blog Crush of the Year. On second thought, too much pressure deciding all those categories - Blog Crush of the Week would be about all I could handle. Whatever you do, have fun and don't stress.

The ABCs of me

2006-12-07T12:33:00.000-05:00

A- Available or Single? Single and available.
B- Best Friend? BFNM
C- Cake or Pie? Chocolate icing on devil’s food cake.
D- Drink of Choice? Cranberry & Ketel One.
E- Essential item you use everyday? The shower.
F- Funny or freaky? Definitely funny.
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? Gummy bears.
H- Hometown? Atlanta, Georgia.
I- Indulgence? Chocolate.
J- January or February? February it’s closer to spring.
K- Kids and their names? Nada.
L- Life is incomplete w/out? My friends and family.
M- Marriage Date? Not yet.
N- Number of Siblings? 1 sister and 2 brothers.
O- Oranges or Apples? Apples.
P- Phobias? I don’t like spiders and snakes.
Q- Quote? Tomorrow is another day.
R- Reason to Smile? Friends and family.
S- Season? Fall.
T- Twist of fate? Unemployment and finding a supportive blog community.
U- Unknown Fact about me?
V- Vegetable you don't like? Mushrooms.
W- Worst Habit? Looking at my split ends.
X- X-rays you've had? Every part of my body.
Y- Your favorite food? Ribeye or sushi.
Z- Zodiac Sign? Aries.

Pins and Needles

2006-12-06T14:34:00.000-05:00

Okay. I finished the last interviews yesterday and took my insanity (those inane psychological tests to see if I'm mentally balanced and if I am smart) tests. I then sent off a nice email to the decision maker indicating my continued interest and enthusiasm with the position and to find out what the next steps are. Every time the phone rang yesterday I jumped up to grab it only to be disappointed that it was a friend or family member checking in to see if I had heard anything. I was disappointed it was a friend or family member not disappointed that they were concerned about what was going on.

Job searching is so much like dating. So now I have gone out on a few dates (interviews); the dates have all been good; all my experiences have been positive and there were indications that I would be able to meet the family (treated as if they were ready to have me become an employee); so I sit by the phone and the computer waiting for a call or email.

Deep breaths! Repeating mantra: You've got the job! Be patient.

Things are looking good

2006-12-01T22:25:00.000-05:00

From my perspective the interviews went very well. Yesterday the consultant was hoity-toity but according to the managing partner I "passed" the consultant's review. I met the last staff person today and while our time was very limited once again I think I made a personal connection. My last interview will be with the accounting firm. This interview won't occur until Tuesday morning so I have 4 more days of waiting. It will probably be the classic boring interview asking about why I left previous positions and what do I want to be when I grow up. I am confident this will go without a hitch as long as I "pass the "psycho" test. Hah! Since we all know that anyone that writes a blog has an edge to them in addition to creative talents and intelligence I am sure my score will be off the charts! I really feel like this company is ready to make an offer and just want the last "approval" from the outside accountants. I will continue to be cautiously optimistic - so I hope everyone will continue to join me on pins and needles until next week.

In the meantime, BFNM is struggling with his unemployment situation. He feels he needs to find something yesterday and all his efforts are leading nowhere. While he was daing DDG, I didn't share much of my frustrations because I didn't feel it was my place. I kept much of my sadness and frustrations to myself. I know I call him my best friend and very close at that but I had to allow him to become emotionally attached to someone else and that meant there were things I just didn't think would be appropriate to share with him at the time. Sharing these anxieties when we are both single is different because you are not taking away your emotions from someone else. I mostly suffered in silence at night and kept my spirits up during the day. Creating the blog also became an outlet for me.

Some of the things I did do entailed the following:

Writing (it didn’t even need to be about me – I wrote about computer frustrations, cell phone issues, how to build a pool the wrong way, house sitting, whatever was on my mind when I sat down to put pen to paper – or rather fingers to keyboard.)

Reading – newspapers, magazines, books – some business related some just plain trash

Getting out and away from the computer for at least 3 or 4 hours a day

Giving myself a pat on the back for the efforts (no matter how small) I was making

Staying away from negative influences

I wish I could say I exercised but alas I was delinquent in this effort but am going back slowly

Found somebody or something to make me laugh at least once a day

Only looked at the schedule in terms of the next day and never more than a week in advance

Went to places that always welcomed me

Movies – home and at the theatre

Didn’t shy away from telling people I was looking for employment (this was the hardest one for me)

Learned some new cooking skills

Indulged myself with sleeping later some days

Sent good karma to someone each night before I nodded off to sleep

Each of us have to find our way through these downturns in our life. I'm not saying mine was the right way; surprisingly, it worked for me. It continues to work because I believe good things do happen to good people.

Thanks to you all. You are an inspiration to my optimism.

A couple of things

2006-11-29T23:34:00.000-05:00

I've been a little quiet lately because I don't want to put the cart before the horse. I have 3 interviews scheduled over Thursday and Friday. All the interviews are with the same company and all I need to do is click with the personnel I am meeting with. I'm very nervous and excited at the same time. You have each been a part of my support system and I only felt it was proper to let you know of the positive movement toward future employment. I will probably have a good idea tomorrow night and will let you know how I feel about the day.

On another note: check out the new blog : Leezer, Charmed I'm Sure She will feel familiar but she's recreated herself. Check her out.

Leftovers

2006-11-27T21:20:00.000-05:00

I had so much turkey leftover you would never know we even ate any. Thanksgiving day was a long day for me because I had 5 dishes to put together before everyone arrived. It got so hot in my condo that I had to turn on the air conditioning.

A few things I learned this year:

Do not brine plain turkey breast in the same pot as the whole turkey. The brine is entirely too strong for just the turkey breast and that meat had a distinct salty taste to it. Not to mention that it cooked faster than the entire turkey so I ended up wasting more than was edible.
The 14lb turkey seems to be the perfect size for all my pots and pans. My dad did a fantastic job of trimming the bird of all the meat. It still is sad that I have to throw the skin in the trash. I was able to take a few small bites of the skin before discarding it. Cholesterol is not a problem for me but it's too tempting for everyone else.
My family does not like sage. So I will need to find another spice for the "good" weight watcher dressing recipe.
Everyone who said they didn't like brussel sprouts had no problems scarfing down this dish. Another weight watcher recipe that was so yummy that there was nothing left by the end of the meal.
You can depend on the sister in law having some kind of food issue that necessitates the alteration of recipes such that she ruins them. Case in point - this year's issue was cholesterol so she just had to have the cranberry sauce made with splenda because of all the "cholesterol" regular cranberry sauce. The "cholesterol free" cranberry sauce was gooey gross and not tasty at all. Next year I will make the cranberry sauce in addition to the five dishes I have now got the hang of making. The good news is that the cranberry sauce can be made ahead!
Never let the sister and sister in law rearrange the table seating.
Don't depend on my sister's mother in law to contribute anything to dinner. She brought one bottle of wine for 12 people and proceeded to drink the entire bottle herself.
Always check with my mom to make sure she is using the correct ingredients in the spinach dip. My parents are both getting up there in age. Mom is 74 and Dad is 76 so being a little forgetful is expected. For some reason Mom decided she had always made the spinach dip with onion soup mix (not! more like Hidden Valley Ranch dry dressing mix). When she was pouring it in to the dip dish is when we discovered the faux pas. It was awful tasting and even Mom didn't want the leftovers.
I need to find another friend or family with kids my niece and nephew's age to keep them occupied while the adults sit and talk. The kids are actually really good and would have been perfectly content watching all my Star Wars DVDs but my brother in law had a fit and my Mom couldn't believe the "violence." I asked her if she had watched the Lion King lately? If you haven't watched it in awhile, pop it in the DVD player - it's just as violent as Star Wars.
Plastic throw away plates for the appetizers and the desserts was the best thing I could have done. I had just enough room in the dishwasher for the main plates, all the various glasses that we used and all the utensils.

All in all, it was a great Thanksgiving holiday even being unemployed.

Clouds

2006-11-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

~Joni Mitchell

Thank you first Commenter

2006-11-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

Ever the inventive blogger, my good friend Neil at Citizen of the Month has declared today as thank your first commenter day. So I would like to thank Manic Mom not only for being my first commenter but for also encouraging me to start a blog. She said it would be easy, I believed. Boy was she wrong. HTML is a language that should be banned. I spent more time deciding which template, learning how to format the template, exploring other people's blogs, finding an appropriate picture to put up and then figuring out how to get that picture next to my profile. I would say I am 90% happy with the layout but I just couldn't spend anymore time experimenting and I was not going to learn a computer language that means nothing to me. I'm an accountant not a computer programmer. So anyway, thanks Neil for your creativity and thanks Manic Mom for encouraging me to enter the blog world.

Asking for Good Karma

2006-11-21T21:05:00.000-05:00

I have an interview tomorrow. Can you believe? The day before Thanksgiving and someone wants to interview me. You bet I didn't have any issues setting this one up. Trying to maintain my composure. I sure don't want to look desparate. Though between you and me, if I am offered the job I will take it. Thanks for your good karma in advance!

So how did I spend today. Cutting, chopping, mincing, and pulling bread apart. I figured since I have 4 dishes and the turkey to cook on Thanksgiving day I might as well take some pressure off myself and do a little prep work. Now all I have to do is put all the ingredients together on Thursday morning. I made the peppermint bark (basically white chocolate and peppermints mixed together) on Sunday so I could make little take home bags for everyone coming to dinner. So the one sweet thing I can make and it's candy. Right now my condo smells of all the wonderful flavors of the meal I will be making. I love the smell! Yummy I can't wait.

If you are traveling, travel safe and have a great time. If you are staying home, have a great holiday too.

What''s in a Name

2006-11-20T21:12:00.000-05:00

This is courtesy of Ramblin' Rose

Two Roads

Honest, dependable and practical you tend to have a fairly conservative but determined approach to life. Your intelligence and wisdom means that you are sought out for guidance and advice. Gifted in communication you are philosophical and intuitive and are usually a traveller both mentally and physically. People respect you for your patience, discretion and integrity.

First Name

Two

You are idealistic and intelligent and very much an all or nothing person.Tending to experience constant change in life security is found in your real and abiding values. With great organisational ability, industry and creative prowess you love to build tangible results and are especially gifted at transforming lost causes. Your intelligence is marked with keen perception and analytical ability. A secure home life and relationship are important for you.

Last Name

Roads

You are charming, talented and have a very positive attitude to life so it is hardly surprising that you attract success and recognition. Focused and patient you understand that material rewards are a result of discipline. Being so creative and with a need for self-expression you may be drawn towards the arts, travel is also likely to be important. A loyal friend, you are a person who must be allowed.

I'm here

2006-11-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

I apologize for not posting in a few days. I needed to take a step back from the BFNM story. The closer the story caught up to the present the more emotional impact it was having on me and I needed to detach. I will tell you why I put the story out there to begin with. It was an email that BFNM wrote in response to DDG when she refused email as an acceptable form of communication until the "breakup" wounds had time to heal a little. DDG had inferred in the email that her emotional support was better than any emotional support that his family could give to him and that now he would be confined to the role of son, father, brother, and grandfather and it would be quite restrictive.

At this point DDG's email were becoming more melodramatic and her word usage was deteriorating (i.e., geometry of the movement of furniture; offer an augmental path; aspire to reach a higher ground; you need to explain to me the why of it). BFNM's diplomatic response just hit me in such a way that I knew he had done the right thing by sending the initial "breakup" letter via email. I also knew BFNM better than DDG. While she had spent close to 4 months living in the same household with this man, she had no idea who he was as a man. He has qualities in him that I had seen him exhibit before in business and now got the chance to see him exhibit those same qualities of decency, fortitude, rectitude, dignity, sense of what is right and responsible on a personal level.

I told BFNM he truly is a wonderful person and how much I appreciated him allowing me to be apart of his life. I told him that I only wish my last boyfriend could have been as caring and diplomatic as he has exhibited in his correspondence with DDG. I also could finally see that if he had tried to do this in person it would have been a war of words and how he was trying very hard to stay away from an all out blame session. He was actually protecting her feelings and she just didn't see it. It is why he kept telling her to take a step back, take some time and absorb all that he had written, begin the healing process and then perhaps they could speak either on the phone or in person.

As for any more parts to the BFNM story - here's a summary - she went from insisting he be out of her rental unit to allowing him to stay until the tenants arrived in December; BFNM decided he needed to disengage from DDG completely; BFNM made arrangements for all his furniture to be moved to storage; he finally met face to face with DDG, they talked but it was awkward; the meeting reinforced his feelings that he had done the right thing in ending the relationship; 2 weeks to the day of sending his "breakup" letter he had moved out of her rental unit and is now living with his sister and brother in law which is not without some downside; his brother in law is going through a rough time and took it out on BFNM which in turn has made BFNM rethink being in Florida altogether; no BFNM is not moving to Atlanta (thanks for wishing so); I'm just trying to keep BFNM in the United States; BFNM tried to go to London and rent a friend's flat but that didn't pan out because the friend has sold the flat - whew; I'm trying to convince him to stay on the east coast; I made the quick trip to Florida because I felt he needed to know that there is someone that believes in all that he has done and is doing; the trip was well worth the 12 hours in a car in two days; we continue daily contact; this is now another defining point in our relationship. I miss him very much.

The Story of BFNM - Part 12

2006-11-16T17:15:00.000-05:00

Sunday night BFNM and I had dinner at his daughter's home. I enjoyed a wonderful meal, non-stop conversation that moved out to the lanai for dessert and then three more hours spending time with each other. Even though his daughter needed to get up early the next day for work and his granddaughter had to go to school there was no "rush" to the evening. At one point BFNM asked his daughter what she thought of me - Oh Dad, we love her she's like one of us. Which his granddaughter concurred. It made me feel so good. He then asked what she thought of the evening before - Well we could tell right off that Two Roads didn't like DDG and vice versa. I asked if DDG didn’t like me because I took the opposing side of the issues discussed. We all burst out laughing - because they are so use to someone at the table always being the devil's advocate in order to provoke deeper conversations. Leaving Florida was hard. I knew that BFNM had a big decision to make. Not about whether he would break up rather, he had to decide when he would break up. On the ride to the airport he commented to me how since I had been in town how much calmer he had felt. I told him it’s because we just are that way with each other. We accept each other’s difficulties. “Get over it” is not apart of our vocabulary. We can vent, we can be up, we can be down and we can just be with each other. He touched my heart. Occasionally he gives me butterflies. I just put those butterflies away.

You might just wonder how I can just push my feelings to the side. I can push them away because I know what happens to every woman that chases BFNM; they’re history. As I have told all my friends, what BFNM gives me in terms of friendship is beyond anything I have ever received from other men. When we first started hanging out together, we had a brief discussion of keeping romance and friendship separate. He told me he would be afraid of messing things up between us. We have come a long way in terms of time and closeness since that initial discussion. I had initiated the first discussion way back when. If he wants to change the game, he needs to initiate the next discussion. As I have also told my friends, if he chooses to have a relationship with someone else and it works then he was not meant to be with me. If I choose to have a relationship with someone else and it works, then I was not meant to be with him. However, we will always have each other. I am just an old-fashioned want to be chased and wooed realistic girl. He’s actually an old-fashioned guy who wants to chase and capture the love of his life. I will let him do that. True, I may not be that person.

So, DDG took the road trip to California. She had an 8 day period to go see her father for “what could be the last time.” She took 6 days driving there all the while sending emails about what a fabulous time she was having with her sister. Never did the emails contain any information concerning her father’s condition. When she finally got to California came the email about how her stepbrother admonished her for pouring on the tears after taking a road trip when she could have been there much sooner. She wanted BFNM to be sympathetic but he couldn’t be since he believed that her stepbrother was right. She spent about 6 hours with her father in the two days she had in California. She claimed she would probably release all her tears on BFNM’s shoulder upon her return to Florida. She returned but there were no tears.

I don’t know about other people however, I suppose I would have expected some kind of reaction upon seeing my “boyfriend” (even if we were currently living separately) at the airport when I returned from such an “emotional” trip. I am the type of person that if I am that emotionally wound up; the moment I am touched by someone I consider close to me, I become a waterfall. There was no waterfall. There was no indication of tears. It was a wake up call to BFNM. Ending the relationship had to be sooner rather than later. DDG had told BFNM that he was invited to a high school band contest on Saturday night and she needed to know whether he was coming or not. He had to let her know by Thursday. Well, on that Thursday instead of responding to the invitation, he sent the “Dear DDG” letter.

I tried to talk him out of sending the letter via email. I said she would be hurt. I said it was very impersonal. I said sit with her and let her read the letter and give her a chance to respond in person. I still believed at this point in all that he told me about how rational and reasonable a person she was. He said he knew how these things went. It would not go well if he did this in person. He wanted to prevent any bad words from being said. He designed his email in such a manner that he took all the blame for changed feelings. He said he only had platonic feelings and didn’t see those feelings changing back to romantic. He never said anything about any other issues that had bothered him. He didn’t want to attack her self-esteem by pointing out deficiencies in her character. He saw no point because he believed that perhaps one day they could at least be good acquaintances. I asked him what he would do if she called after receiving the email. He said he would listen to her. I asked if he was prepared to talk more deeply about the platonic feelings. He said he was. I asked if he was prepared for her to tell him to move out of the rental unit. He said he was. He believed she would wait a day or so before calling to get her thoughts together.

BFNM was wrong. About an hour after sending his email, he received the call from DDG. He said it did not go well and the worst part was when she said “get you and your sh*t out of my rental unit” and hung up. He called me shortly thereafter. Truth be told, I was spot on with everything I thought she would want to discuss. I told him that from the little interaction I had with DDG I knew her modus operandi. He wanted to know how I pegged her reactions. I said because while DDG may be older she acts, as someone in her late 20’s where it concerns her relationship maturity. I told BFNM it was as if I was looking at myself oh so long ago. It was scary and eye opening to me at the same time.

Yesterday's post was 100

2006-11-12T18:24:00.000-05:00

When I started this blog back in August I had no idea that I would still be keeping up with it in November. Yet here I am. I know everyone has been enjoying the story of my BFNM but I need to take a break from it for a few days. I'm making a trip down to Florida. This time I am driving. That's what you do for your best friend. He needs my shoulders and I'm taking them to him. There is only so much consoling you can do via email, text message and phone calls so it is time for me to hit the road. I'm leaving the laptop at home. I will be back.

The Story of BFNM - Part 11

2006-11-12T00:48:00.001-05:00

As you all know from my post: So What’s Your Opinion my meeting with DDG was a bust. To summarize the previous post, BFNM tried Thursday and Friday to have a quick get together with the three of us. DDG would have nothing to do with it. Saturday, he invited her to meet us for lunch but she declined. She did say she would be over early for a cocktail before going to dinner with us at his sister's house. She made it for cocktails but was late which in turn made us late for dinner. At 11pm in the middle of a perfectly fun evening that seemed like it would go on for another couple of hours, she declared it was late, she was tired and it was time to go. World record for saying goodbye and thanking everyone for a wonderful evening - three minutes. DDG did not direct one bit of the conversation to me in the car ride back to the rental unit. Since she had made it clear that she was tired, when we entered the rental unit I said thanks for a nice evening, good night and went directly to my room. She stayed the night.

The next morning they emerged from their room about 9:45am. She had made coffee for herself. BFNM told me later she was pissed because he didn’t want to lounge around in bed with her. He told her that he had company and that it would be rude for them to pick this day to stay in bed late. When I went to go fix myself a cup, BFNM was in the process of fixing a cup for him and me. Therefore, I went back into the living room to make conversation. DDG greeted me by sitting with a newspaper in front of her face. Therefore, I picked up the local newspaper to find something to talk about, spotted an ad for her company and made a comment. The next thing I know she is getting a computer to go sit out on the lanai. Now we couldn't all go out there to sit because there were three of us with only two comfortable chairs. Neither BFNM nor I wanted to sit outside when she obviously wanted to ignore us while she worked on the computer.

Unbeknownst to me at the time she was actually putting together her road trip across the USA. I inquired if it was necessary for her to work on the computer since she and I would only had this morning together. His response was - "she has this schedule thing about Sundays and she never deviates not even for me.” An hour and half later she came back inside. She now decides she has to download pictures on her other computer. I stayed in the living room while she figured it out. I tried to engage her in conversation but I don't particularly care to speak to someone's back as she was working on her computer. In the meantime, BFNM went to get ready so we could run our errands before dinner at his daughter’s that evening. When he emerged from the bedroom, she retreated to change her clothes. I felt it was more appropriate to say goodbye face to face rather than yelling it from the door while exiting. I had to go into the master bedroom closet to say goodbye and thank her for letting me stay at the rental unit. BFNM wanted me to meet DDG because the feedback he was getting from his daughter, granddaughter, sister and brother in law was not positive. The purpose of him moving to the rental unit was to provide space to see if from a distance he could see what everyone else was seeing in their relationship dynamics. BFNM had always told me what a rational and reasonable person DDG was. He always described her in a favorable light. Even when describing his continued displeasure with this living situation and relationship, I never felt that DDG would be so cold and insecure.

Well I never had any indication of the coldness/insecurity until she threw it in my face and when BFNM put everything on the table during lunch on Sunday. DDG, along with her son, doesn’t believe in bathing on the weekend. Did you know that taking a dip in the pool is cleansing? DDG sees nothing wrong with walking barefoot outside her home and then getting into bed with her dirty, germy feet. DDG sees nothing wrong with proposing marriage or giving a detail description of the type of engagement ring she prefers. DDG had an intense need to establish nicknames for her and BFNM. Her favorite thing to call BFNM was “Baby”. (Sorry, I wanted to throw up the first time I heard her call him Baby. The way she drew out the word and put a southern twang to it was what made me nauseous. Again, I got the feeling if DDG really understood BFNM she would not call him Baby. He’s an adult man not a baby. Naturally, we are all babies to our parents but not to our significant other. I’m just saying. Some of you might not mind the affectionate term “Baby.” The term is surely something I would never use and if you could have seen the cringe on BFNM’s face, you would know he didn’t care for the term either.)

DDG tries too hard to sound intelligent. The result is she ends up sounding unintelligent because she doesn’t know how to properly use words or ideas in the correct context of the conversation at hand. Her favorite thing to do to “show her intelligence” is to use a business concept when referencing something personal thinking that the two have something in common. DDG likes to be in control of everything from getting out of bed; going to bed; to what to do during the day; to when and where she will make her presence; or to how she runs a relationship. BFNM told me that DDG had admitted to him that she had been chasing him for almost 4 years. My analysis is that she had built this dream world around how this relationship was going to work. He walked into her 5th year of a relationship without warning. No wonder she was ready to get married within three months when she proposed to BFNM. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had the wedding dress already picked out since she obviously had given a lot of thought to the engagement ring. BFNM also indicated that after 6 months the relationship intimacy was going downhill. The intimacy was practically non-existence even to the point that their kisses were that of something you have with a platonic friend.

I definitely got an earful about the intricacies of what was going on in BFNM’s head. I told him that while it appeared intellectually he knew it would be the right thing to do to end the relationship; emotionally he was just not prepared to hurt DDG’s feelings. No matter how soft he wanted to let her down there was going to be hurt feelings. Until he could accept that DDG would be hurt he should find away to make the best of the situation.

The Story of BFNM - Part 10

2006-11-11T00:02:00.000-05:00

It was at this point that I told BFNM that if he really wanted a better opinion from me I needed to meet DDG. BFNM and I needed to get together anyway since I needed to complete his tax return so what better excuse did I need to go to Florida. Planning the trip proved to be another test of patience; however, we were able to select the first weekend in October that had the least disruption to everyone’s schedule. The more BFNM tried to exert some independence the more DDG tried to exert her presence.

BFNM scheduled a trip to Boston for business and DDG wanted to go too. BFNM emphasized there would not be any time during the day to spend together and there would not be any time to spend together at night because the plan was for business meetings held from morning through dinner. He also tried to schedule business functions with some networking friends. He finally told her he had too much to accomplish and it would be easier if he did not have to worry about taking care of her too while conducting business. He told her it was not the time and the place to mix business with pleasure. She acquiesced.

When BFNM and I spoke while he was in Boston, he mentioned that he just could not take living in the same house anymore with her. His needs for intellectual conversation, social activities and business concerns all were backseat priorities to DDG’s needs. He said when he would engage DDG in conversation that did not involve band practice or high school activities the conversation fell short of anything meaningful. Anytime he would bring up things he would like to do for his career, DDG idea of being helpful was to offer money, become an equal business partner, and then have BFNM teach her the business. BFNM now had been dating for 9 months and living together for 4 of those 9 months and had determined that if he was going to be a business partner with DDG she would not be a silent partner and she was not a sophisticated business savvy person. Basically, to be a business partner with DDG would involve too much time away from the business in order to “teach” her the business and would take away from running the business. He made a decision that upon his return to Florida he needed to take a place of his own and start sorting out his long-term feelings concerning DDG.

It was not easy broaching the subject with DDG regarding moving out. He knew she would not take it well and he was correct on that point. He put together a list of items that concerned him and his reasons for wanting to create some space in order to get his thoughts together. Her concerns revolved on how all this would look to the neighbors, her son and her friends. What would she tell them? Her offer to create space within the house was to move some of BFNM’s furniture that she was using at one of her rentals into the study portion of the bedroom. She thought that maybe if he had some of his own belongings that would be sufficient space. Moving BFNM’s belongings without asking him first only made him more adamant about his decision to move out. You see the deal was DDG had full use of BFNM’s furniture in a rental unit as long as all items stayed intact and any movement discussed so that BFNM would not lose track of his belongings. DDG moved the furniture because she believed that would keep BFNM in her house. While the gesture appeared nice, the gesture was only for the benefit of DDG getting what she wanted – holding on to a relationship that was slowly slipping from her grasps. I did not find out until my visit that this was not the first time DDG had done something without consulting BFNM and put him in the awkward position of deciding whether he should go along or decline. BFNM has much in common with many people who dislike hurting another person’s feelings when it appears they are being so nice. I tried to explain to him that when something nice makes you uncomfortable then trust your gut and try to find out why you feel this way. Sometimes taking a step back and looking objectively at something when your gut tells you will provide some insight into why you have these uncomfortable feelings. You can then make your decision with a clearer head.

Meantime, when he moved out so close to the time for me to come and visit, I became uncomfortable. I told him that I thought that DDG would think he was moving because he and I were becoming involved. I also told him I thought DDG would come up with something to either not be around or to cause me to cancel the trip because she was going to need him by her side. I do not relish winning but I was correct on the second point. Four days before I arrived, I received a call from BFNM confirming my suspicions about DDG.

Her attempt to get me to cancel my trip involved telling BFNM that DDG’s father was very ill. Her father lives in California. She explained that this might be the last chance she would have to see him alive and therefore might need to make a trip to California and wanted him to come with her. He explained that while he felt bad for her and told her to go ahead and make the trip to see her father; he could not leave because of his own personal family crisis and me coming to town to finish his taxes. He was sure I would understand if she was not there. Naturally, we could meet another time. DDG had pulled this “it may be the end now” before and nothing ever came of it. While her father is very ill, from outside appearances it is not a day-to-day situation.

When I arrived in Florida, my first inquiry was as to the condition of DDG’s father. According to BFNM, once he told her he could not make the trip at this time there was not another mention of her father’s condition or the need to go to California right away. In fact, the trip to California to see her father turned into a need to get a car to California for another relative. In addition, she and her sister were going to drive the car to California to deliver it. When BFNM suggested sending the car out by train in order that she could spend more time with her father, she totally rejected that idea in favor of how much “fun” it would be for her and her sister to see the USA. Her actions were beginning to put a bad taste in my mouth. She even tried to get her son to go along on the “road trip” using the “it’s the last time you may see your grandfather” as the ploy and he turned her down because he didn’t want to spend 6 days in a car to get to California.

The Story of BFNM - Part 9

2006-11-10T00:02:00.000-05:00

Apparently, things were wonky in Naples and the living together situation without the benefit of dating in the same city was having an impact on BFNM freedom of movement. You see, DDG and BFNM had established their “relationship” while they lived in two different cities. When he asked me what I thought about long-distant relationships I offered these comments: you are always on your best behavior when you get together; you are not able to “see” the day to day stresses of home and work; if you ever are in the same city, you should live separately to see if the “romance” of the long distant rendezvous was just that a long distant rendezvous romance or to see if there is something of substance to the relationship. I also said that for a small percentage of couples, distance will not have an impact on their relationship and it was highly possible two people could go from living in two separate cities to living together without any problems.

BFNM had already raised his children so it had been a long time since he had to contend with things such as sleepovers, loud music, band practice, football games, and anything else 16 year old boys are prone to doing (not know where any piece of their clothing is, not have pocket money, not take showers/bath for a couple of weeks, not know how to make lunch or cook a frozen pizza or not be able to find the laundry room). On top of that, DDG lived a very “scheduled” life. By scheduled I mean if BFNM did not mention beforehand he wanted something done that day then it would go on the schedule at the next available time. During the week, DDG typically cooked dinner for the three, BFNM did the dishes and then it was time to prepare for bed because lights out was at 10pm. Sundays were even worse because that was laundry day. Before lights out at 10pm, DDG had to wash, fold, hang and put away all laundry.

Compromise is apart of all relationships. DDG only considered compromises that accomplished her needs first. (I’m quite sure that doesn’t fit the definition of compromise but then again DDG is an English major who is notorious for making up her own words along with her own definitions.) Therefore, when it came to down time for BFNM, he could only find peace and quiet in the bedroom after all the accomplishment of all the daily “chores.” In the meantime, BFNM decided he wanted to get his broker’s license and took a speed course that entailed exams at the end of each week of the two-week course. DDG had agendas and she expected that BFNM to accompany her with everything she did. Therefore, in her mind even if BFNM needed to study for his exam he would have to do his studying after they accomplished all of her tasks.

It was at this time that BFNM decided he needed to ask his sister and brother in law for advice and for their opinion. His feelings for DDG were not growing more romantic as you would expect after living with someone for three months. He consulted with his psychologist friend too. He had not lived day to day with anyone in over 7 years perhaps his expectations were misplaced. Was he selfish? Should he be grateful that he did not have to find a place to live on his return to Naples? Was there a way to find an equitable solution and make it a win-win? Was he taking advantage of the “free” living arrangements? Was there is an expectation to “help” whenever called upon? How could he find time for himself and the relationship? Was there a chance that the romantic feelings would return? What was causing his feelings to be more platonic than romantic? Was it the right thing to do by moving in with a child in the house? Was this relationship less complicated or more complicated? The conversation with his brother in law was interesting to say the least. Because after a night of hearing all that his brother in law had to say about the relationship, I received a call the next day at lunch. BFNM wanted my opinion.

Okay, here was my chance. BFNM told me all that his brother in law had said. The important part of their conversation revolved around the decision to move into a house occupied with a child. It did not matter that the child was 16 years old; the point was that 16 year old children do not make decisions for their parents. His brother in law gave him an earful about adult responsibilities and about how he saw substantial differences between BFNM and DDG. BFNM finally asked me – what did I think about his brother in law’s comments regarding the living arrangements? I suppose I dropped a bomb when I told BFNM that I agreed with this brother in law.

There were some dynamics going on in support of my position. One, I thought that DDG had taken advantage of an emotional low point in BFNM’s life. The original offer was that BFNM was to live in a separate place and they were to “date” in order to confirm their feelings. However, two days after BFNM arrived back in town DDG thought since they were so sure of their feelings it would just be easier to move in together. Her son would get use to the idea and she wanted them to be able to bond. She claimed there were no strings attached to the offer, but we all know there are always “unspoken” strings attached to every offer. BFNM had not spent enough time with DDG to know of her quirky and sometimes irritating habits. Even worse, BFNM didn't know of the son's strange habits for which BFNM realized he would not be able to make any comment. Two, some of his uncertainty about the relationship that BFNM had indicated to me prior to moving in had not changed. His feelings in regards to DDG basically were neutral even though they did seem to have nice times together. Third, if DDG truly believed that there was a rock solid relationship, then what exactly was the rush to move in together with BFNM especially since her son had never spent any time with BFNM prior to him moving in the same residence? Last, finding himself emotionally strained by other dynamics going on within his own family, BFNM was having a hard time focusing on his own needs, wants and desires.

the Story of BFNM - Part 8

2006-11-09T09:32:00.000-05:00

BFNM was in New Hampshire arranging for having his furniture crated up and moved to storage when I had my frustration meltdown. Yet another phone call cut short most likely because he was on a short leash with DDG. The one thing I had noticed over the summer was that he seems always to have to report exactly where he was and what he was doing to DDG. We were talking about how his parent’s were doing and then next thing I know he tells me he has to go and take another call because it was important. Prior to him living with DDG, BFNM would have called me back and let me know everything was okay. There was no call back. I thought of calling but then I thought what if it really was nothing and I over reacted without basis. When we spoke the next morning and I inquired about his parents he said all was well but he also noticed, there was a different tone in my voice.

I needed to vent. I sent him an email and told him I needed to vent and that it was not going to be pretty. He said I could call but I knew I did not want to call because only email would get his full attention. The subject line of my vent email was “You let me down.” I outlined my frustrations with trying to get him to focus on the business opportunity. I explained my frustrations with trying to get him to focus on his financial planning that we had started to put together. I had sent him a card to cheer him up because he was struggling with the pressures of dealing with ensuring his parent’s are cared for properly. I sent the card to DDG’s house. He never acknowledged receiving the card. The lack of acknowledgement hurt. I told him so. I explained my frustrations about any conversations which were prefaced with “I don’t have much time” which translated to me “I don’t have any time for you, what do you want?”

My email was a wakeup call for both of us. He apologized for letting me down and told me he sure could use a good uninterrupted talk with me too. He called that night after the movers left; the only problem was he was inebriated. Once again, I was frustrated. I resorted to writing a letter. Writing, in general, is a great way for me to get all my feelings out and acknowledged. Sometimes when I “look” at what I “feel,” I can resolve the feelings on my own. This time I needed his input as to what was going on or whether I was overreacting.

Here is part of what I wrote:

I hear you when you tell me all that is going on in your life and all the additional responsibilities you have taken on. Frankly, we are at a point in our lives neither of us expected to be and neither of us needs the stress. Therefore, I am trying to come up with a solution so that I don’t feel hurt and you won’t feel “guilty” (if that is even what you feel) about cutting conversations off in mid-sentence with no explanation and no follow-up, starting conversations with I’ve got to make this quick or not answering the phone when I call. Yes, all those things will happen from time to time and there is absolutely no reason for hurt feelings. Sometimes, even I have quickly ended a conversation, not taken a call or just made a quick call for a single piece of information. Surely, I expect you to understand and I should have that same understanding. My concern though is these types of calls are becoming the norm rather than the exception and that is where I need your help in trying to understand what has changed. So what has changed? Is this just temporary? If it is permanent, what do you want to see happen? You know I am always open to suggestions. I want to know if you feel I am missing something or I am totally off the mark with my observations and feelings. I have always respected and appreciated your insight, opinions and feelings because you are important to me. I want your help.

You see when you have a relationship that developed spending a lot of face-to-face time together and that relationship changes to one where we have to relegate communication to email and phone calls things change. I am a visual person. I am good at reading people’s faces, noticing inflections and changes in voice tones and observing body language. BFNM and I had to figure out a way to now orally communicate those things that before we communicated through our facial expressions, body language and speech. He called again. This time he was sober. We talked for over 2 hours. I wasn’t overreacting but I also learned a lot of what was going on in Naples and most had to do with the bizarre DDG.

The Story of BFNM - Part 7

2006-11-08T12:05:00.000-05:00

I had no sooner made it back to Atlanta when things at BFNM’s job took a nasty turn. He decided he could no longer work for the micromanager. She was taking too much out of him emotionally for no benefit. Perhaps it was her sick pleasure to emotionally brow beat people down. I had observed her behavior during my two trips. Most of the employees were frightened of her. Her husband worked at the company too. She berated him in front of other employees. She is sick and cruel. BFNM felt he just could not be productive. It was time to move, again. Not his favorite thing to do and he would lose a substantial deposit on his condominium too. This job was not only costing him emotionally but it was going to cost him financially.

The right decision was to leave. He had to decide where he was going to live. He did not have any desire to return to Atlanta. Atlanta never felt like home to him and he did not feel there were any business opportunities worth pursuing in Atlanta. He did not really want to go to Naples; however, in light of the health of his parents and his sister and brother in law shouldering most of the responsibility, he felt it would be best to go to Naples. Yes, Naples is where DDG lives. DDG was none to happy to have him move down there. She pushed very hard for him to be in Naples by offering one of her rental properties for him to stay at if he chose not to live with his sister and brother in law.

Oh no, the rental property was not to be. The rental property was just a ploy to convince him that Naples was the place to be. No sooner was he in Naples, she once again tugged at his emotionally vulnerability. She said she did not understand the need for them to live separately. It would be so much easier to continue “dating” if they just lived together. If I remember correctly, he arrived in Naples on a Wednesday and was suppose to be in the condominium by Friday. He called me on Friday to tell me about the change in where he would be living. My only comment was: How do you going from not knowing if you are dating to now living together – what is next marriage? I think he chose not to hear me. I think the truth is he knew I had a point.

Oh, I suppose I need to mention DDG has a 16-year-old son. She claims to have discussed the “new living arrangements” with her son and that she had received his okay. Now I ask you this, what single parent puts that kind of emotional responsibility on their child? I would think that the child only wants their parent to be happy. If said parent presents this “opportunity” to have the “man of her dreams” live in the same household can we honestly expect the son to tell his mother no I don’t think that is a good idea? I do not care how “mature” someone thinks a 16 year old is. According to studies, the brain does not fully develop rational reasoning until the person has reached their early 20’s. My belief is that DDG presented her “case” to her son in such a manner that it would have been impossible for him to tell her no. There was a change in how BFNM and I communicated.

My communication with BFNM was confined to phone calls between the hours of noon and five pm, email or text message. Although, sometimes the emails and text messages were never answered. I needed to give BFNM all the space he needed in order to give his relationship a chance to grow. I will not say it was easy or that I did not get sad from time to time. I missed my BFNM. I missed the intellectual conversations; I missed interaction whenever it happened to occur – whether at 8am or 10pm; I missed hearing about his family; I missed my best friend. My frustrations finally boiled over in August when BFNM let a deadline slip for a business opportunity that we had talked about trying to get off the ground.

The Story of BFNM - Part 6

2006-11-08T00:02:00.001-05:00

Now for some people you might think that disagreement/opinion of how BFNM spent his weekend should have put some distance between the two of us. Nope, not at all. In a way, it actually brought us closer. I could not say it but I felt DDG was selfish. She got him to go to the Cape under the guise of a quiet, relaxing weekend and switched to oh, woe is me I have to get this cottage cleaned for the summer season and I cannot do it all by myself. Gee whiz, have you ever heard of hiring a cleaning service? BFNM did not have much of a choice; he was already there and he was her ride back to the airport on Sunday.

He tried to explain how he made the best of the situation but his explanation just did not sit right with me. However, at this point I had to keep my opinions to myself. I profusely apologized and said that I did not want my opinion to alter the way he felt he spent the weekend with DDG. I went from a minor waterfall to laughing and joking as we always do within a manner of 30 minutes. On the walk back to the condominium, BFNM pretended he had too much to drink and kept bumping into the traffic signs. I kept pulling him out of the way but never in time. He finally showed me how he was hitting the signs with his hand to make me think he had been bumping his head against the signs. Again, we laughed as we always do. When we got back to the condominium, he gave me a big hug and said, “I love you.”

Now you should know something here. When I arrived in New Hampshire the second time, I had already decided I wanted to talk about our friendship and feelings. I knew I would have his undivided attention in the car going to and from work each day. Therefore, the first night on our drive back to the condominium, I explained to him how I had feelings for him that were more than just a casual friend was. I had already been calling him a best friend and he was calling me his best friend too. I told him how sometimes when we spoke that just saying good night or talk to you tomorrow seemed so hollow. The generic goodbye/goodnight just did not seem enough given to how close we seem to be.

I explained that with my closest of friends I would typically end phone conversations with I love you or I miss you. I wanted to be able to do that with him but I did not want him to think of I love you in a romantic sense. I just wanted him to know that there were stronger feelings involved. I also told him that I did not expect him to say it back to me. I just needed his okay for me to be able to tell him when I felt that way. I am not the type of person that has to say I love you after every phone call or interaction nor do I have to hear it after every phone call or interaction. I tend to say I love you when there are a strong emotional conversation between us or for that matter any of my friends.

I said, “I love you, too” released the hug, walked to my bedroom, closed the door and cried myself to sleep. I felt I had almost lost my very best friend by opening my mouth, inserting my foot shoved so far down that it came out my asshole. I promised myself no more opinions on what he was or was not doing with DDG unless he specifically asked me.

Guilty Pleasures

2006-11-08T00:02:00.000-05:00

Midnight snack? Snickers

Shopping spree? Nordstrom's

Late-night TV? Jay Leno or Craig Ferguson. For really late night - MASH

Cocktail? A marjarita

Fashion addiction? Black

Rainy-day movie? Any chick flick with lots of tears.

Beauty Binge: My perfume costs over $100

Fast food? Chick fil a

The Story of BFNM - Part 5

2006-11-07T00:07:00.000-05:00

I finished my work in New Hampshire and returned to Atlanta again not knowing when I would see BFNM again. His work was getting more bizarre by the day. It turns out the woman he worked for has borderline personality disorder. This woman took micromanaging to such an extreme it would not surprise me if she put her bowel movements on her calendar and sent herself a task. She listened to employee’s voicemail and read their emails. BFNM and I had discussions on how to handle this woman and finally I threw my hands up and said to call his psychologist friend and get an unbiased opinion on how to handle the situation. The psychologist was the one who gave the borderline personality disorder diagnosis. Naturally, BFNM and I researched all over the Internet and concurred. It was a relief to have a name for the condition but there was not any good advice on how to deal with someone who has this condition.

BFNM then came up with another project for me to work on and needed me to return to New Hampshire. This proposal became a test of my patience. BFNM and I wrote the requirements and deliverables based on information he had received from the outside accountants. It took no less than 10 revisions after that to get approval from his boss. He was frustrated and I was frustrated. When I had enough, I said to tell his boss this was the final revision – take it or leave it but I was not changing the proposal again. Turns out that his boss was giving BFNM a hard time because she believed she was financing a trip for me to visit BFNM because she believed we were “involved” even though BFNM had told her he was involved with DDG. Yes, I know, it was none of her business - but he was dealing with an over the top micromanager.

In order to get the “approval” to go to New Hampshire, BFNM offered that I would not have a rental car and that I would be staying in his spare bedroom in order to keep expenses to a minimum. The best plane fare involved staying over the weekend so it would be a great way for me to explore Portsmouth, NH and perhaps even see a little bit of Maine with BFNM as my tour guide since I would not have a vehicle. Well, that was not to be because DDG had other plans. She wanted to go to Cape Cod that same weekend as she expressed it would her only time to get there before summer season began. BFNM would leave on Friday afternoon and return Sunday evening. I was on my own in Portsmouth for the weekend.

Yes, I was mad. However, I could not do anything. I am a very resourceful person and even without a car I knew I would be fine on my own. DDG continue to insist that this was the only time they would have available to go to the Cape. BFNM left thinking he was going to have a relaxing, romantic weekend. Friday night I came back to an empty condominium and had to create plans for the rest of the weekend by myself. Good news is that BFNM had become friendly with a couple that owns a furniture store. He left me the wife’s name and number and told me to give her a call over the weekend because he thought she had said her husband was going to be out of town. He also left me with his credit card with instructions if I found a storage cabinet for the second bathroom I could buy it. It rained on and off all day Saturday. BFNM lived within walking distance of downtown Portsmouth. When the weather broke, I walked down to the furniture store and introduced myself to FW (furniture wife). She was very friendly and we had a blast talking. Since I was on a mission to find piece of furniture, I did not want to leave without a purchase. I found the perfect cabinet in two different woods and textures. FW offered to bring both to the condominium so we could look at them to see which one was better. She asked if I had dinner plans and said I told her no. Therefore, she brought the storage cabinets and we experimented not only with that but also with rearranging my room. My room (as I always referred to it) was on the small size and did not have good storage. BFNM had purchased a bench (with storage underneath) and an armoire and just crammed the furniture in the room with the bed. FW and I ended up positioning the bed caddy-corner in the room, moving the armoire to another wall and putting the bench on the wall opposite the foot of the bed. The only thing missing was a night table. I went into BFNM’s room found a piece of furniture that did not fit and repurposed it as a nightstand. We headed for drinks and dinner with mission accomplished for my weekend – rearranged the furniture into a more functional layout and found a storage cabinet for the bathroom.

Sunday was gorgeous. I walked into town, purchased a newspaper at the newsstand and then went over to the bagel shop for coffee and a bagel. I then found a nail place and had a manicure. I walked around town some more and found a great place for lunch and then decided to sit out in the town square and people watch. I also rang everyone I knew to talk to me while I sat in the town square soaking in the sun. It was nice but a little lonely. Then I received a text message. Yep, BFNM was checking up on me. He followed the text message with a quick phone call – I suppose DDG was taking a shower or something. We made plans for dinner that night. It was a long day. However, what happened at dinner was very unexpected.

I was starving by the time BFNM had returned to Portsmouth. We had a glass of wine at the condominium while he unpacked from his weekend. He had been on the road for over 4 hours. He was tired but in a very talkative mood. I told him about my weekend; he was thrilled with the way my room looked; and he loved the piece of furniture for the bathroom. He had also given me permission to rearrange the mess in his kitchen because he just could not figure out how to get all his stuff in his cabinets. I kept quite busy the entire weekend. Before he left, I told him I felt uncomfortable rearranging his furnishings. He said there was nothing in his belongings that I did not already know about and he knew I would not snoop. I told him to leave out a t-shirt and a sweater just in case the weather turned cooler than expected because I was not going to go through his dresser.

He talked about his weekend. He spent it cleaning the rental house. Yep, you heard me correctly. The reason DDG needed to go to the Cape that weekend was to get her rental house ready for the summer season and she needed help cleaning it. I was floored. First, I opened my mouth – I said that did not sound like it was very relaxing. Next, I inserted my foot – I asked if they did anything to progress the relationship because that did not sound relaxing nor romantic, as he had indicated his plans before he left. Lastly, my foot came out my asshole – I told him if my boyfriend had told me they wanted to spend a “relaxing and romantic” weekend away from the neurosis that was going on at work and then had me cleaning their rental house instead I would be furious. That last statement did not sit well with BFNM and he got so mad that he raised his voice (not yelling but louder and with a very firm tone) and told me I did not know what I was talking about and knew nothing of DDG and his relationship. I could not help it – the tears came out. We had a disagreement. I had pushed too far and crossed the line of offering an opinion when he never asked for an opinion. BFNM also realized that I was trying to apologize as soon as the words came out of my mouth. We had another defining point in our friendship.

The Story of BFNM - Part 4

2006-11-06T00:17:00.000-05:00

I digressed. BFNM started evaluating opportunities outside the immediate area. I told him that although I would miss him and didn’t want to see him leave I also knew that he needed to do what was right for his career. I don’t know where I find my strength. Truth be told, it would have been entirely selfish of me if I had tried to get him to stay in the area just to see if anything would develop between us. I believe you don’t force relationships. Again, I wasn’t going to chase after him. If he decided it would be best to take a position in a different city then I would support him.

We spent his birthday together and then he was off to Florida to spend the holidays with his family. I knew he would be back after January 2 but I didn’t know how long he would be back. We talked, emailed or text message most days. He commented on how much time we had spent together. He mentioned that he was trying to go out on a date while he was in Florida. I listened. He called when he opened his Christmas card to thank me for the kind thoughts and well wishes. He called New Year’s Eve to wish me Happy New Years. He called New Years day. He told me he had been spending time with just one particular woman. He was having a good time. I told him he deserved a little happiness in his life. It was not my time.

He came back to the city and we went back to spending his free time together. Except there was something different. Anytime his cell phone rang, he would jump to see who it was. He took calls when before he would let them go to voicemail. He told me about the woman he spent time with in Florida. We discussed the pros and cons of him taking a position at a company in New Hampshire. He felt it was best and would put him in a better position for his foray into investment portfolio management. He told me DDG (ding-dong girl – by the time we get to the end of this story you will understand the acronym) was concerned about his move to New Hampshire and what the “distance” would mean to their “relationship.” I asked if he was dating her and why all the drama. He said well they did spend a lot of time together when he was in Florida and it appeared that he wanted to begin a relationship. He told me that he told her he didn’t know what was going to happen but that he wasn’t going to be a hermit in New Hampshire. If he wanted to go out with someone he met, he would ask her out.

February 10, 2006 was his last day here. I had no idea when I would see my BFNM again. My focus was on making sure my BFNM had a happy send off. We ate at all our favorite restaurants. I had to let him go. Again, I was sad. Every Thursday after he moved I would get a little sad even though we talked most nights. However, phone calls were sometimes cut short because he had to take the call from DDG. The first two weeks of his new job were stressful and that was only the beginning of the stress yet to come from working at that company. By February 17, DDG was already in New Hampshire. She booked trips to go to New Hampshire every 2-3 weeks after that. Do we all know what she was doing? I will give you a big hint – Chasing. Even if BFNM wanted to meet and go out with another woman there was no way that was going to happen with DDG coming in so frequently. I kept my mouth shut. I could see where this relationship was heading but it was not my place to say anything. BFNM didn’t express displeasure with the visits and he claimed it was relaxing to have her around helping with finding a place to live and helping when his belongings arrived.

March 17 I entered the world of unemployment. BFNM suggested I come to New Hampshire to help with some processes that hadn’t been documented and that he was being pushed to have done. Somehow, I was able to put together a proposal, have it approved, arrange flights and hotels and get to New Hampshire on March 27. I couldn’t believe in just a few short weeks since BFNM had left that we were now in the same city. At least for a short while. It was so comforting to be around him again. He felt like home. We picked up just where we left off as friends and as business colleagues.

He mentioned DDG and I asked if he was dating her. He wanted to know how I determined such a thing. I said well since it appeared that they were spending all this time together intimately and he indicated that their first date had actually been during Thanksgiving I said that he should know after 3 months as to whether this was more than just a casual relationship. He seemed happy to admit he was dating but I wasn’t quite convinced on how all this was playing out.

ME me

2006-11-05T16:13:00.000-05:00

DO YOU SNORE? I don’t unless I’m sick or something.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? Lover.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR? Snakes and spiders.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? No becasue the only time we ever saw a Lego set was at someone else's house. My mom hated clutter although that all changed when she had grandkids!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV? I like the ones that have a psychological bent to them - Amazing Race, Hell's Kitchen, Survivor, Project Runway.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? Yes, when bored with whoever is sitting across the table.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? Absolutely and still am!

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? I am single now but I am so much better when I am in a healthy relationship.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? Kinda Silvery.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? Yes and I hum too.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? No way. I admit my weaknesses.

ANY SECRET TALENTS? I can twist my thumb to the back of my hand. I can also grab my hands diagonally across my back.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? Wherever my love is.

CAN YOU SWIM? Not real good, so I am a float person. I have an aversion to getting my face wet.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO? Never heard of it.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE? Yes, it concerns me.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? Zero, I always bite it.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? No and why would I want to?

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER? Electric. I love a really sharp point.

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? If that is the way you want to live, so be it. I prefer the grocery store or a nice restaurant.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? I sure hope so.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I use to but I spend so much time on the computer now it seems my handwriting has gotten horrible. It might be that I can't stand misspelling words and it's so much easier to correct on the computer.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? Pollen and bad manners.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU” ? Last week.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? Depends on my state of mind and what is said about the couple.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Scrambled or sunny side up - medium well.

ARE BLONDES DUMB? I'm going to get in trouble here but they do seem to be a bit more out there than most.

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? Dryer hell.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? Yes and no I am not telling you what it is.

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING? Everything but the french fries.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? Everyday.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? Showers daily, baths for relaxation; either when someone is joining me for some fun!

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? If you want him to be.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED? Absolutely an errogenous place for me.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? My Blackberry.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? Crunchy, definately.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? I don't think so.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? No.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? If you are talking about illegal drugs - yes. If you are talking about legal medications, you should ensure you take them properly.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? Sometimes.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? Green and brown.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? I do…except when I have to work. Then…notsomuch.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC? Preceptive.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE? Not since high school. Do I need to?

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? The drums on the car steering wheel.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? No.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? No, I’m afraid of going down hills with no controls.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? My idea of camping is a reservation at the Four Seasons.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH? No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? It's a great illusion that is expertly performed. If you know how to accomplish the trick, you could do it yourself.

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND? If he can't find a good woman.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? I believe it is the right avenue to take when the circumstances warrant it. I also believe that people don't work as hard at relationships anymore too and depend on divorce to solve their problems.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? Uh…No.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? I try very hard to do my best but to someone else it might not work. Is that a mistake?

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? To me, yes. Anything below 74 is cold.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? Absolutely, it's so girly.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW? Like in more than just a friend kind of way - one.

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? They all are annoying. Actually radio commercials are even more annoying.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE? No. It's not sexy unless you're into camping (the outdoor camping not the Four Seasons camping).

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT? The Fray - How to Save a Life.

The Story of BFNM - Part 3

2006-11-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

As soon as the new/old girl had returned to Florida, he called. I told him everything I knew up until that point. We brainstormed. He rehearsed what he was going to do and say. He didn’t go into work on the day that was originally scheduled for his return. He called another colleague who worked at the company. I tried to tell him to be very careful with the information he gave or received from the colleague. I have very good skills at seeing people for who they are or are not. I didn’t trust this colleague to give BFNM information that would be in BFNM’s best interest. To his credit, BFNM was able to negotiate his severance without ever facing his boss. I had a hard time holding myself together when he came in to collect his things and take his staff out for lunch. BFNM exudes class and he showed everyone in that office that day how to do it. I was very proud to know that I was his friend.

However, something was going on in his head that I didn’t know about. Remember, we had this deal that if he wanted to tell me what was going on in his relationship he would bring it up first. We dressed (better than business attire but less than formal) for dinner and I treated him to a very nice (yes, of course of the company) meal at an expensive restaurant. Dessert came and he finally told me what had been on his mind. New/old girl had asked him to marry her while they were on their getaway. Yep, you heard that right – she asked him. She had already done research of chapels in the area and was ready to elope. What did I tell you about women chasing him? Don’t do it.

He was breaking it off. He was no more ready to marry her than he was ready to go to church on a weekly (or even more) basis. While there was some romance going on, he was troubled by her new religion. While he didn’t mind her having it, he didn’t have the need to find it himself. He is perfectly happy in how he practices his “faith” but that wasn’t good enough for her. He also was troubled how she treated service people (the concierge, wait staff, the Starbucks baristas, etc.). She has an air of pretentiousness about her with the expectation that everyone is there to notice and serve her. The marriage proposal coming from her seven weeks after they had just started dating and being fired was just all too much.

His mother told him not to worry she wasn’t the person for him because there was somebody else out there for him. If I had heard, his mother say that, I would have gotten up and given her a great big hug. The next few weeks were a blur to say the least. We spent just about every dinner together during the week. Weekends we would get together for lunch, dinner or both. (We’re still platonic here folks. We still had that same peck on the lips or a hug to end the “non-dates.”)

You’re probably wondering why I call them “non-dates.” To me this is what dating means: 1) a man calls in advance to ask you out; 2) a man always picks you up at your place; 3) a man doesn’t talk about wanting to go out with other women; 4) your kissing involves some tongue action and your hugging has some wandering hand movement to it; 5) when you travel each has a little more than a general idea of the itinerary and you might perhaps offer to take and pickup your significant other from the airport; 6) you actually might end up staying at his place; 7) showing romance and wooing with little gifts, cards and letters (consider a gift could actually be an article from the newspaper that is interesting; or picking up one piece of Godiva chocolate just because; or making a video to show how much you care about someone); or 8) calling to say you were thinking of them just because.

Why were/are they non-dates? There is nothing ever planned. It would be 4pm and I would get a call – want to do dinner tonight? It could be 10am and I would call – want to meet me for coffee later? There was no chasing, wooing or romance. About the most romantic (always in my book) BFNM got was opening car doors, holding building doors open, pulling out a chair at the dinner table, or helping me with my jacket or wrap. Oh, I feel so special when he does those things, every single time. I, I always say “thank you.” To acknowledge the gesture lets him know I appreciate the gesture.

The Story of BFNM - Part 2

2006-11-03T20:23:00.000-05:00

He started going to Florida every other weekend. I didn’t ask many questions of his relationship. We had this deal in order for us not to feel like we were ever being nosy. If he had something to tell me about the relationship, it was up to him to bring it up in conversation. I mostly kept my questions to, if I had any, when are you going to Florida, how does your family feel about you two seeing each other again, or how was your weekend. He asked me what I thought about him attending church. I told him if he got something out of it, there wasn’t anything wrong. I had long ago decided that attendance to religious services was not something I would be able to do on a weekly basis. He had the same feelings. I asked him what had changed. He said new/old girl had now found religion and wanted to attend weekly services together with anyone she was in a committed relationship with.

I know my BFNM well enough to know this was never going to work. On numerous occasions, we would talk about religion. We would discuss how we both did the right thing growing up and obtained our religious education. We discussed how for a period after leaving our parents’ home we maintained a connection by attending services on a frequent basis. We talked about the curve balls life had thrown us and our affiliation became less frequent to non-existent except on an absolute need to basis (weddings, funerals, confirmations, etc.). We talked about how we developed our own “faith,” if you need a name for it, through introspection and meditation. We talked about how it was more important to be a good person and live your life with dignity, responsibility, rectitude and a sense of what is right. We talked about how we didn’t need to attend a religious service to feel a connection to a higher being or to feel good about our life.

In the meantime, his boss was taking an extremely hard line with him and was making his job miserable. His boss was trying to put obstacles to prevent him from publishing a research project in the period that was agreed upon with the research partners. BFNM was succeeding in making sure everything was done under budget and on time. His boss decided the only way to “stop” the process was to fire him.

BFNM had taken off the week to take the new/old girl for vacation for her birthday. I found out that BFNM was going to be fired when he returned to work. I found myself in a very precarious situation. Should I call him while he was away on a romantic week and inform him of what was going on? I didn’t want to be a spoiler of a romantic getaway. Would the information send him closer to the new/old girl? Should I wait until he returned to work? Should I even tell him because it might have meant me being fired (which then happened 6 months later because the same boss became CEO and didn’t like me and wanted to get rid of me anyway)? I would be breaching confidential information by telling him and yet he is my friend. I struggled for 3 days. It helped that he was in the mountains and didn’t have cell phone service so I had to wait until I knew he would be closer to the city. I sent a cryptic text message.

He called. I asked him where he was. He said he was driving back to the city. He sounded strange. I said I needed him to pull over to the side of the road because I didn’t want him driving while I told him the news. I prefaced it with my struggle and then I told him. I hurt. He hurt. I did the right thing regardless of what it meant happening to me (being fired and sending him into the arms of another). Yet another defining point in our friendship.

The Story of BFNM - Part 1

2006-11-02T14:57:00.000-05:00

We met September, two years ago at work. I was in the midst of a bad relationship/breakup and so I never did pay attention to the "new guy.” I could tell he was a ladies' man and a flirt. What girl doesn't like to hear they look nice or pretty? Especially after I ended a relationship, where there was an analysis of every piece of food that went in my mouth, where anything I wore was never girly enough, where even 2 1/2 inch heels weren't sexy enough, and where he considered my friends and family persona non grata. Therefore, I flirted back. It was fun. I smiled and laughed again.

Once I build a certain comfort level with someone, I'm a very upfront person. So one day when he was in my office after I had finally gotten around to reading his resume, I directly asked him - What was he doing working for this company? Nothing in his background suited the role for which he was hired. He is much more intelligent than anyone is in that organization. He definitely has potential to work at far more prestigious companies. He was a little startled but he opened up and said he was only there to build contacts for his next venture. He needed a venue in order to court people and this company open doors to the people he would not otherwise be able to have access. I guess you could say it was the beginning of trusting one another.

It took me four more months before I finally felt comfortable to ask him if he would like to have dinner together. My second, and last cat, had died and I was finding a new freedom in days that did not center on insulin shots and feedings. He obliged me by meeting for drinks and dinner. Four hours and two bottles of wine later was the beginning of many more dinners, lunches, coffees, and bookstore wanderings. It was also the beginning of everyone having an opinion on whether we were dating or not. We shared details of our lives but about as intimate as we got was a hug at the end of spending time together. It was four more months until we began the "non-intimate" peck on the lips. You girls know what I'm referring. You get that kiss from your close friends and family. No tongue. No indication there will even be tongue.

He went on vacation for a month the summer of 2005. He was in London when the subway/bus bombings occurred. I was frightened for him and yet I could not display such emotions. We text messaged and I was relieved he was safe and out of harm's way. He went from London to Saudi Arabia to Lebanon and then back to London before he returned to the States. He has a great friend that has homes in Saudi Arabia and Lebanon who had invited him to tour the countries on business. More bombings/kidnappings. He indulged me with text messages every other day. I gave him the longest hug on his return. My feelings were growing. However, I had vowed never to chase a man again. I can be stubborn. I was not going to chase him. If he wanted to change the way things were between us, he was going to have to do the wooing and chasing. Funny thing is - he doesn't like women to chase him. He enjoys the wooing and chasing. One thing was totally evident, our friendship was indeed growing.

He spent Labor Day weekend in Florida, came back to Atlanta and told me he was beginning to see someone. It was a girl he had dated several years back and wanted to see if she had changed and they could rekindle their romance. It was not my time. He had decided he was going to leave the company and began making a move on the contacts he had generated. We talked about what our friendship meant to each other. I told him of the time I was very close to another man and how his wife was very jealous. No matter how many woman out there have no problem crossing "over the line" when it comes to men in committed relationships, I have no desire to go down that path. The marital counselor told the other man he had to discontinue contact with me. I was crushed. I told BFNM I just couldn't do that again. He assured me that he wouldn't let his new relationship come between the friendship and support that we were building. He needed me to trust him. I was afraid but I too needed to trust him.

Like I didn't know this!

2006-10-31T23:12:00.000-05:00

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Halloween Pics - Two

2006-10-30T23:30:00.000-05:00

Halloween Pics - One

2006-10-29T23:27:00.000-05:00

In preparation for Thanksgiving

2006-10-28T00:17:00.000-04:00

I know, I know - we haven't even celebrated Halloween yet but I wanted to give everyone a good start to practice these lines:

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready!

My First

2006-10-27T11:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, I am finally creating my very first acronym - BFNM - Best Friend, Naples Man. Now I totally understand why people create acronyms when they are writing their blogs. Part to protect the innocent, part to keep some privacy and mostly to not have to explain over and over again in each post the main characters in our lives.

I could just use the first initial of his name but then what if I meet someone with the same initial and want to blog about that experience. Won't it just confuse you? It might, but I know you all are smarter than the average person and can figure that out. I will probably still shy away from the use of acronyms but I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of exploring about BFNM in the coming months. Stay tuned...

Update

2006-10-26T21:34:00.000-04:00

Whew - made it through the interview. I was suppose to meet with 2 people but the one person who kept changing the schedule on us was a no-show. I was meeting with the accounting firm partners of the client that needs me! I had a previous phone screen with the tax partner (who showed up) and she wanted me to meet the audit partner (who was the no-show). When the tax partner sat down she said the audit partner wasn't going to show but it didn't matter anyway because she liked me and was going to go ahead and recommend me to her client for the position. It was a great breakfast! So now I have to wait for the call from the client for an interview with the CFO. You are doing a good job sending great karma my way - I appreciate it if you continue for a little while longer. :>)

Spent most of the rest of the day discussing with my best friend the best way to break up with his girlfriend (that would be the one in Naples, Fla). He wrote one of the most thought out letters I have ever seen and never received. There were no accusations, no name calling, no judgments made. However, the letter didn't go over very well. Needless to say, it's over. My shoulder, ear and cell phone will be getting a lot of use over the next few days. Endings are never easy.

Tagged

2006-10-25T23:07:00.000-04:00

Thank you, Swishy for the honor of allowing me to tell people even more things about myself. You don't make it easy. No rules. Just 5 interesting things you don't already know about me.

So here it goes:

1. I actually enjoy reading about events, new procedures and policies, and annual reports surrounding issues in accounting. This is kind of funny since I am so not your typical geek accountant. I don't go around spouting everything I have learned to prove to others my intelligence. I quietly use the knowledge I have gained on my own to enable me to work smarter. I haven't worked over 40 hours a week in more than 10 years because I am very good at applying what I have learned through reading.

2. I like to have silence in the morning when I am getting ready for work. That means no talking, no TV and no radio. I don't like starting my day off listening to all the bad things that happened overnight. To end my day, I enjoy sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine and talking with a friend about everything and nothing.

3. I like going to movies by myself. I can sit wherever I want, laugh when I want, cry when I want and get up and leave it the movie stinks. I started doing this when I moved to Charlotte, NC back in the 1980's because I didn't know anyone and I wanted to go to the movies. Noon matinees are typically the best for practically private showings of movies. I highly recommend it to anyone who needs to learn how to do things on their own.

4. I don't like confrontation. I will find any way I can to find a way around bad news before I have to deliver it.

5. My friends mean the world to me. If you become one of my close friends, you become my family. When I count my blessings, I count my friends twice.

I am so full of cough medicine and nyquil I can barely see the screen. Tomorrow morning I have a breakfast interview - a greasy spoon near a college campus. Should be extremely interesting. I will be myself with just a little more bubble than ususal. Good karma is appreciated! Thanks all that have been wishing me luck on my interviews so far!

Circle Game

2006-10-24T22:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you're older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we cameA
nd go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him,Take your time, it wont be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

~Joni Mitchell

I've got a cold

2006-10-23T10:36:00.000-04:00

Well, I can't breathe, my throat is all itchy, my eyes are all watery and I have this sexy throaty voice thing going on. The weather here is just plain coocoo. First it was pleasantly fall like then it reverts back to summer like and now it's in the freaking 30's. Oh and for good measure throw in a trip to Naples, FL where it's a heat wave and come back to town and attend an outdoor concert where the temp drops into the 50's and there is a good breeze. Here's some fall pics from around my neighborhood:

Yesterday was decorate the pool house for Halloween. We put up tombstones for a graveyard effect, hung spiders from the door that rise and fall when you open and close the door, hung a ghoul from a tree, put up purple and orange lights outside, changed all the lights inside to either red or blacklight and I'm sure there is still more to do. I will post the pics when it's totally finished. I'm not exactly sure what I am calling my costume other than an over made up vacationer. I just hope I can follow the instructions on the make up kit I bought and put the fake eyelashes on correctly.

The interview tomorrow just got moved to breakfast on Thursday - gives me time to get rid of this sexy throaty voice thing I have. Now if I can convince them to have breakfast at a better restaurant that's not so greasy and would fit into my diet plan.....Oh did I mention, my friend in Florida are supporting each other in losing 15 pounds by January. So far he's down 4 and I'm down 2. He also might be giving the girl the boot sooner rather than later. It's almost embarassing what she's done since I left. Change that, it is embarassing what she has done since I've left. I am sure there will be more to come. Keep smiling!

Sunrise - yep!

2006-10-21T23:01:00.000-04:00

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.

You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.

Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.

All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

One liners

2006-10-20T21:45:00.000-04:00

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, and know that someone who thinks you're great has thought about you today!

Yippee the weekend is here! I do believe that my "down" mood has passed. Now I am distressed about wrinkles. Everyday I look at my hands and they remind me of my grandmother's hands. She died several years ago but I always take time to remember her and others in my family who have died. Today was my Grandma T. She had long, strong fingers. Her treat was getting her hair and nails done every week. In her later years there really wasn't much hair to work with so she would do her own styling but she kept up the manicures.

I have the long fingers and the veiny back of the hands like her. You can't miss a blood vessel in my hands. As we get older our skin becomes thinner and transparent. Men too. I notice those things. You can have all the plastic surgery you want but your hands will always give your age away. Whether it's arthritis, the thin skin or the wrinkles, your hands will give you away.

Wrinkles and yet I look at my hands and remember my Grandma. I miss our talks, her cooking and baking, her gruffness, and her kindness. Growing up you always get told who you look like - for me Grandma T would say I had her neck. Who says that? She didn't want anyone comparing looks so she chose a body part that no one would ever think of to compare for looks. Me - I chose our hands. Fond, loving memories when I look at my hands. Besides, I can't see my neck.

Much better

2006-10-19T19:10:00.000-04:00

The interview today went very well. Interesting concept. If I can finish up some self-study coursework that I've been working on I believe that will give me the one-up on other candidates. They are looking to move quickly on making job offers (approximately 4-5 people) by the end of the year. It would be nice if I could do this as an interim.

Thanks everyone for encouraging comments. I am hanging in there.

Two new Inspirations

2006-10-19T18:50:00.000-04:00

Inspiration: Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity.

Today I added two new "Inspirations" to my list of blogs that I read. While this list seems very short it is by no means the only blogs that I read. I label these blogs as inspirations to me. Each has had an influence on opening my world to the blogosphere. If you were only to look at the surface of each blog you would think the only thing in common they have would be me. No matter how different they appear each makes me pause and take a good look at what and who is important in my life. Each requires the reader to think about life and consequences. Each challenges themselves to be a better person. Each are trying to find out something about themselves. Each has a combination of happy and sad moments. Each asks more of themselves and while directly they inspire me to ask more of myself (or you dear reader).

So take a moment and go visit my inspirations. You just might find a new/old friend.

Viscountess of Funk
Susan Senator

Be of Good Cheer

2006-10-19T17:12:00.000-04:00

Stop on by Dubious Wonder and wish her luck in where ever her life may lead her. She will be truly missed.

By the way, thank Neil at Citizen of the Month and his father for the title of this post. It seemed very apropos.

This should have been a good day

2006-10-18T23:11:00.000-04:00

Today I had a job interview. The first in what seems like months other than the interviews I go to at the various headhunter shops around town. I have an interview tomorrow with another company and then next Tuesday a screening interview with an accounting firm for their client.

So why am I so down? I think I have change of season aches. Yesterday I never left my condo, sat on the sofa under the slow revolving ceiling fan, watched the rain, surfed the web, read my 50+ blogs - some more than once, and began thinking about what I am going to have to do in the next few weeks if I job doesn't come through. The combination of the cold air being blown around and a sadness overtaking me has probably contributed to a sore throat today. I actually thought about cancelling the interview. It is not the most ideal job as far as location (almost 40 miles one-way from where I live) but other aspects of the job seem appealing (challenges, different industry from anything I have been involved with before , and opportunity to be involved with strategy). I just couldn't get excited about it.

Tomorrow, my interview is suppose to last anywhere from 2 1/2 -3 hours. This is for a job at a company that provides people for high level accounting positions (senior controllers, CFOs, COO, etc.) on an outsourced basis. The appeal of this position is it will provide a variety that has been lacking in my previous positions, I can work for companies and if I don't like what I am doing I can finish my project and move on to the next company and project, and I can build a network with those in the firm. What annoys me about this company is the slowness in making decisions. It has taken 2 1/2 months from the initial screening interview to get this second (and hopefully last) interview with the senior executives at the local office. I was strangled at my last job with the hurry up and wait mentality of people who profess to be professional business people and can't perform.

The interview next week is with the accounting firm of a client that needs a position filled. The CFO is looking for their replacement and this sounds too good to be true. The company meets all of the criteria I came up with my career coach - non-public company, >$100M in revenues, >200 employess, good reputation in the community, succession planning in place for all key positions, and access to strategic planning. In addition, the company is located within 10 miles of my condo. If I can make it past the accounting firm, I might have a shot at this one. Do I get my hopes up or do I put up a good front of hope so as to not be let down again?

Interesting how the voice over from One Tree Hill fit my mood tonight:

There comes a time when every life goes off course, in this moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fears bravely and move forward with faith or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?

I won't succumb to the darkness of my soul - I've been there before and I have the strength and fortitude to never return; however I do need to find some direction. I need to be productive for myself. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. Or do I? So many of my friends are unhappy in their jobs or where they are in their life. Is this the mid-life crisis I have so often heard about? I suppose naively I always thought mid-life crisis meant menopause, empty-house syndrome, and changing relationships. The one thing I thought would be an anchor which everthing could hold on to would be my profession. I surely don't live to work. I do need to work to live though. I find the uncertainty in the environment in the world in which we live to be quite unsettling. I am sure that general uncertainty contributes to the uncertainty I have felt in my own life, the lives of my friends and family and even in many of the blogs that I read.

I wish I could have said today was a good day. I just can't. There is tomorrow.

What's your Favorite

2006-10-17T16:06:00.000-04:00

1. Go HERE.
2. In the SEARCH field (top left part of the page), type in the name of your favorite movie.
3. When you get to the movie's page, click the link in the left navigation bar that says "MEMORABLE QUOTES." (It's in the Plot & Quotes area)
4. Find your favorite line from your favorite movie and post it in the comments section of this post.
Here's mine from LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE:

Olive: I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves.
Pageant MC: Aww, that's so sweet. [Audience applauds]
Pageant MC: Is he here now? Where's your grandpa?
Olive: In the trunk of our car.

Only my Friends Know for Sure

2006-10-16T21:56:00.000-04:00

Your Quirk Factor: 32%

You have a few little quirks, but you generally blend in well with society.

Only those who know you well know how weird you can be.

How Quirky Are You?

I hope everyone has filed their taxes! Today is the last day.

Four Things

2006-10-15T15:17:00.000-04:00

I liked this one from Crazy Aunt Purl

Four jobs I’ve had:

* Burger King counter girl
* Coco’s waitress
* Auditor
* Business consultant

Four movies I can watch over and over:

* Last of the Mohicans
* Gone with the Wind
* A League of Their Own
* Legends of the Fall

Four places I have lived:

* Atlanta, Georgia
* Charlotte, North Carolina
* Athens, Georgia
* Doylestown, Pennsylvania

Four television shows I love to watch:

* Grey’s Anatomy
* MASH
* The Amazing Race
* Jay Leno

Four places I have been on vacation:

* London, England
* Cape Cod, Massachusetts
* Seattle, Washington
* San Diego, California

Four of my favorite dishes:

* Rib eye steak, baked potato and steamed broccoli
* My Mom’s brisket, rice and green beans
* Sushi from Sakura Japanese Restaurant in Portsmouth, New Hampshire
* Apple pie ala mode from Houston’s Restaurant

Four websites I visit daily:

* nytimes.com
* bloglines.com
* google.com
* Citizen of the Month (well Neil, I do - you just make me laugh and smile when I need it. Thanks!)

Four places I would rather be right now:

* Naples, Florida – probably obvious to most, if not all
* Massage table
* Hot tub
* Snuggling

Go out and enjoy the day - it's absolutely beautiful!

Appreciation

2006-10-14T17:26:00.000-04:00

Just a little update on my online status. On September 7, 2006, I reported in my post You found Me that Technorati had me ranked at 1,088,701. I am happy to report as of today I am currently ranked 352,932. Now I truly find it amazing that in the short period of 6 weeks I have jumped almost 736,000 spaces. I have to say that I have met many nice people in the short time I have been blogging. I know people are really conscious about checking out their reports and seeing who's stopping by, how many times they hit your site and who's lurking around. I'm not one of those people.

I have found a tiny voice for myself in my blog. I have made a conscious effort to post everyday. Some things have not exactly been provocative or thought stimulating and other posts I hope have piqued your interest. I believe my blog has allowed me to keep my sanity during this time of unemployment. Blogging at first was a distraction. Now I truly do enjoy just putting thoughts or observations out there. One concession I have not made is to tell my friends and family I have a blog.

I told one friend early on and since I very rarely check my reports I don't know if she lurks by or not. It's ok if she does because she knows much of what goes on in my life anyway. There is always a twinge that happens inside me though when I think I might put something out there that I have kept to myself and really want to listen to a truly unbiased opinion. I do believe I made the right decision not to say anything to anyone else though. However there were many times during my trip to Naples that I almost slipped. It's hard to talk about what's happening on the internet without mentioning blogs especially when talking with teenagers.

I must say I didn't know if I could do this daily but somehow someway something pops in my head and I put it into words right here. I am not a writer by any means but I do like putting my thoughts down to clear my head. The best part is you guys have become the unbiased sounding board that everyone needs once in awhile.

How many have you done?

2006-10-13T19:23:00.000-04:00

Some great fun from Neil at Citizen of the Month :

Fill in what you’ve “done”:

(x) Smoked a joint( ) Done cocaine(X) Been in love( ) Had a threesome(x) Been dumped(x ) Shoplifted(X) Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back( ) Been arrested( ) Made out with a stranger(X) Gone on a blind date(x) Had a crush on a teacher() Been to Europe(X) Been to Canada() Been to Mexico(x) Seen someone die() Thrown up in a bar() Met a celebrity(X) Met someone from the internet in person( ) Been moshing at a concert(x) Gone backstage at a concert(x) Lain outside in the grass and watched cloud shapes go by(x) Made a snow angel(X) Flown a kite(x ) Cheated while playing a game(X) Been lonely(x ) Fallen asleep at work(x) Fallen asleep at school() Used a fake ID() Been kicked out of a bar() Felt an earthquake( ) Touched a snake(x) Slept beneath the stars( ) Been robbed(X) Won a contest(X) Run a red light( x) Been suspended from school(X) Had braces(X) Felt like an outcast(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night(X) Had deja vu() Totaled a car( ) Stolen a car(x) Hated the way you look( ) Witnessed a crime(x) Been to a strip club() Been to the opposite side of the world(X) Swum in the ocean() Felt like dying(x) Cried yourself to sleep() Sung karaoke(x) Paid for a meal with only coins(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t() Made prank phone calls(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue( x) Been kissed under the mistletoe(x) Had a bonfire on the beach() Crashed a party( ) Seen a tornado(X) Had a wish come true( ) Gone bungee jumping() Screamed in public( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them( x) Had a one night stand(x ) Kissed a mirror( x) Had a dream that you married someone(x ) Gotten your fingers stuck together with super glue( ) Been a cheerleader() Sat on a roof top(x ) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight(X) Stayed up all night(X) Not taken a shower for three days( ) Made contact with a ghost while playing a Ouija board( ) Had more than 30 pairs of shoes at a time( ) Gone streaking(X) Been skinny dipping(x ) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on( x) Had sex in a public or semi-public place( ) Been kissed by a complete stranger(x ) Broken a bone( ) Caught a butterfly() Mooned/flashed someone(x) Had someone moon/flash you( ) Cheated on a test(X) Forgotten someone’s name(X) Slept naked

It's not me

2006-10-12T21:45:00.000-04:00

“To cure jealousy is to see it for what is it, a dissatisfaction with self.” Joan Didion

Jealousy as Insecurity
It’s easy to see how jealousy can stem from personal insecurity or a lack of self-confidence or lack of confidence in the strength of a relationship. Jealousy may also stem from feeling insecure about how the future will play out with someone.

Jealousy as Dependency
Jealousy as dependency is fueled by jealousy as insecurity, envy and power. You show your jealousy in a relationship because you want to be provided reassurance for future security purposes. You want someone to validate you and you don’t want to lose them because you’re not confident enough to be self-sufficient.

One Solution
To avoid jealousy in relationships, first you should choose a partner with a good track record in the trust department. You may also need to be up front with your partner about any doubts or fears you have and discuss whether they should be founded or not. If they are valid, then your jealousy will never subside and the relationship is not for you. However, constantly giving false accusations about what you think your partner’s intentions may be will push them away quickly.

I found the above information on-line. I was really bothered by what occurred last week in Naples and thought I would do a little research. Most of the responses I received said the girlfriend was jealous and I replied that I thought she was insecure.

A few things surprised me about the whole situation. The girlfriend had heard about me for months. We even had short conversations via the phone. Those conversations were always friendly and pleasant. While her relationship with my best friend is not on solid ground she still is his girlfriend. He has told her that while they may not be living together he also is not interested in dating anyone else. He still speaks to her several times a day and now has the opportunity to "ask" her out on dates - which he has done every week since he moved out. Perhaps I was a bit naive to think that I would be treated just like my best friend's sister. We have never been intimate. It's not like she was meeting an ex-lover who he had maintained an amicable friendship - which I could see making someone uneasy.

Now that I can take a step back and take a look at the situation and with the assistance of the information above, I can see how what I was calling insecurity is a form of jealousy. It wasn't that she was jealous of me per se. Just being insecure of her relationship with my friend contributed to her actions toward me and others. She needed to find a way to gain back control but it backfired on me as well as it continues to backfire when the girlfriend interacts with the rest of my friend's family.

In many ways, she has never been secure with her relationship with my friend. The relationship started off being long distant. When my friend took a job even further away she kicked it up a notch chasing him to his new home. He wasn't even settled a week in his new city and she was already on a plane. She then made trips every two or three weeks until family issues had to be dealt with and he had to move back to Naples. When she offered up one place to live and then at the last minute suggested the living together scenario would be so much better for their relationship I had a very bad feeling of how this relationship was playing out.

Now you could offer up that he could have said no and stuck with the original plan. Some men are very strong when they feel like they are being manipulated. Other men are known as caretakers - where they take care of other people's needs before their own. Just so you know women exhibit these same type of actions - strength and caretakers. I believe a person who is insecure is very adept at manipulation when they are involved with a caretaker personality. I have spent many, many hours with my best friend discussing current and past relationships and how we constantly work on trying not to make the mistakes of the past. I knew he is more of a caretaker when put in very stressful situations. Between taking a new job, moving to a new city, then having to move again to take care of his elderly parents he has been under a lot of stress in the last 10 months. All he wanted was for something to just go easy without much drama. That was not to be.

When he moved back to Naples it was very difficult to have conversations with him. Now I could have become the jealous one except for one difference. I am not insecure about the state of our friendship. Our friendship was formed over many months of very open and intense conversations about feelings and understandings. We worked out a communication system that worked for us. What I didn't realize was the depth of his unhappiness. It is hard to gauge unhappiness through emails and phone calls. We have a policy of not asking questions like = "how's the relationship going" or "what are the next steps in the relationship". We have always taken the position that if one of us wants to talk about our current relationship that involves more than surface stuff then we bring it up on our own. It wasn't until he moved out of living together when he finally told me what he had been going through. I told him I needed to reserve judgment until I saw them interacting together. I thought that was the fair thing to do.

I think every one - my friend, his family and myself - all saw the same thing. She is insecure about the state of their relationship and the direction it is taking and has been from the very beginning. It's not me she's jealous of. She is jealous of any and every one that takes my friend away from time with her - family or friend. I think at some point she would become jealous of even a job that might take him away from her.

Now I could offer up my conclusion to my friend; however we have already had a similar conversation. While rationally he has accepted the end of the relationship, he still has to emotionally accept the end. Emotionally in regards to accepting that feelings are going to hurt no matter how soft you try to make the landing. Insecurity makes the breakup more difficult. It's just nice to know - it wasn't me. Now then my job is to be there for the "soft" landing. Best friends are just like that for each other.

Free Spirit part 4

2006-10-11T16:17:00.000-04:00

You are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life...Your entire life. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account, but your soul.
Anna Quindlen

Tags: Observations, Personal Lessons, Poetry

So what's your opinion?

2006-10-10T15:59:00.000-04:00

Background: My best friend is male. He was living with his girlfriend but things were just going a little too quick and he needed to slow things down a bit. She had another place she rents out and the new tenants would not be arriving until sometime in December. She allowed him to move into the rental to sort things out between them. She knows that I am a really good friend and I was coming in town for the weekend to finish up his taxes and meet her and his family.

I arrived Thursday early afternoon and we had lunch with his daughter and granddaughter. He had asked the girlfriend to meet us for drinks before dinner but she declined - something about getting a massage.

Friday - he invited her to lunch and again she said maybe and then never showed up.

Saturday - again he invited her to meet us for lunch but she declined. She did say she would be over early for a cocktail before going to dinner with us at his sister's house. She made it for cocktails but was late which in turn made us all late for dinner. At 11pm in the middle of a perfectly fun evening that seemed like it would go on for another couple of hours she declared it was late, she was tired and it was time to go. World record for saying goodbye and thanking everyone for a wonderful evening - 3 minutes. Not a word was directed to me in the car ride back to the rental unit. Since she had made it clear that she was tired, when we entered the rental unit I said thanks for a nice evening, good night and went directly to my room. She stayed the night.

Sunday morning - they finally emerged from their room about 9:45am. She had made coffee for herself. When I went to go fix myself a cup, my bestfriend was in the process of fixing a cup for himself and me. So I went into the living room to make conversation. I was greeted by her sitting in the living room reading the newspaper. So I picked up the local newspaper to find something to talk about and spotted an ad for her company and made a comment. The next thing I know she is getting a computer to go sit out on the lanai. Now we couldn't all go out there to sit because there were 3 of us and only 2 comfortable chairs. Neither my bestfriend nor I wanted to sit outside when she obviously would be ignoring the two of us while she worked on the computer. I inquired of my best friend was that really necessary since she and I would only have this morning together. His response was - "she has this schedule thing about Sundays and she never deviates." An hour and half later she came back inside. She then decides she has to download pictures on her other computer. I stayed in the living room while she figured it out. My best friend left to take a shower in order to get ready for me and him to run around for the rest of the day before dinner at his daughter's house. I tried to engage her in conversation but I don't particularly care to speak to someone's back while they are on the computer. When my best friend was ready to go, I felt it was more appropriate to say goodbye face to face rather than yelling it from the door while exiting. I had to go into the master bedroom closet to say goodbye and thank her for letting me stay at the rental unit.

For the record, I'm 48 and they are both 54. His sister is 51. His daughter is 34 and his granddaughter is 16.

My best friend had wanted me to meet her because the feedback he was getting from his daughter, granddaughter, sister and brother in law was not positive. The purpose of him moving to the rental unit was to provide space to see if from a distance he could see what everyone else was seeing in their dynamics. I did find out something about myself through all of this. I am definitely more family oriented than I thought I was. One, I love sitting around the dining table drinking, laughing, debating, cajoling, egging one another on - just all around enjoying be around everyone. Two, I always take the time to check with others I have arrived with as to when they might be ready to leave. Yes we all have levels of tiredness but sometimes even when we are tired and the others are not we stay longer because it's considerate. You never know if you might just get a second wind and end up having an even better time. Three, I have never in my entire life said goodbye in 3 minutes - 15 minutes would be fast - 20 to 30 minutes is more like it. When she declared she was ready to go, she got her purse, walked out the door, and had the car started while I rushed around hugging and telling people goodbye. I was mortified. The evening just felt incomplete because it ended so abruptly. I felt like I didn't get to properly thank the hosts for their hospitality. Four, when we got back to the rental unit I did not feel it was necessary to sit in the living room and have winddown evening conversation (which is exactly how my best friend and I love to end the evening) when she had already declared she was tired and it was time for bed. Five, I was appalled between the newspaper, computer work out on the lanai, the computer work indoors and not being walked to the door to say goodbye. Well, the girlfriend sure didn't follow the axiom - keep your friends close but your enemies closer. If I was the enemy she should have been all over making nice to me so that I could go back to my best friend and say wonderful things about her and that everyone else was just misreading the situation. Gee, that doesn't seem to be the case now does it?

Sunday night just my best friend and I had dinner at his daughter's home. I enjoyed a wonderful meal, non-stop table conversation which then moved out to the lanai for dessert and then 3 more hours of spending time with each other. Even though his daughter needed to get up early the next day for work and his granddaughter had to go to school there was no "rush" to the evening. At one point my best friend asked his daughter what she thought of me - Oh Dad, we love Two Roads she's like one of us. Which his granddaughter concurred. It made me feel so good. He then asked what she thought of the evening before - Well we could tell right off that Two Roads didn't like the girlfriend and the girlfriend sure didn't like Two Roads. I said was it the fact that I took the opposing side of the issues being discussed that she didn't like? And they burst out laughing - because they are so use to someone at the table always being the devil's advocate because it provokes deeper conversations.

Needless to say, except for the 19 hours (and thank goodness 11 of those hours were spent sleeping) I had to spend in the present of the soon to be ex - girlfriend, I had a fabulous time in Naples with my best friend and the rest of his family. We are so easy with each other. We allow each other the space to be who we are. He's my pillow!

I'm all about Romance!

2006-10-09T21:07:00.000-04:00

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Hand/Eye Coordination

2006-10-08T05:32:00.000-04:00

Let's just say this is addictive. Everyone have some fun! Parallel Parking was never this hard!

I am having a wonderful time in Naples, Florida. I even got a little tan going on - whoo hoo! Today went shopping at this place called Bob Baker Shoes - and got 3 pairs of shoes for $15 (regular retail over $300). The catch was it was a gamble in what I would end up with. The shop owner was trying to get rid of all stock. She tapes all the boxes and only labels them with the shoe size and original price. I ended up with a sandal, a nice pair of black flat shoes and "mismatch" shoes ( the left and the right foot shoes have a different but coordinating look. I love a bargain. And the shop owner, Kalie Burke, was a delight. It was like opening birthday presents.

If you look real close...

2006-10-07T00:41:00.000-04:00

You can see my reflection in the picture.

Taken from the 5th floor (there are only 5 floors in this beautiful hotel) of the Wenworth by the Sea, Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Tags: Observations, Travel

Sunset from Naples, Florida

2006-10-07T00:30:00.000-04:00

I am having a fabulous time. It is so wonderful to spend time with someone who after not being around for 4 months is so easy to fall back into that safety net we provide for each other.

Little Gracie

2006-10-07T00:23:00.000-04:00

Bonaventure Cemetery, Savannah, Georgia.

It may be creepy to many people but I have always enjoyed roaming through cemeteries. So many lives, so many memories, so many stories, so many histories. As interesting as I find cemeteries, I have no desire for my bones to be placed 6 feet under. My history is being created here in the blog. (No worries people, I am in good health so you have many posts to look forward to!)

Tags: Savannah, Observations, Personal Lessons, Relationships, Travel, Family

Off to Florida

2006-10-04T21:26:00.000-04:00

I'm posting early for tomorrow because I will be on my way to Florida! I am so excited because I can not wait to see my best friend. It has only been 4 months but I miss him dearly. He's been my pillow in times of need as I have been for him. I'm taking my laptop because I have to finish his tax return. Yes, he extended until October 16th and loves waiting until the last minute. There will be plenty of time to visit and eat lots of seafood, visit with his family and explore Naples. I will try to post some pics if I get a chance. If not, you know I am having a fantastic time.

Now this would make me happy

2006-10-04T11:18:00.000-04:00

Overheard two older ladies in a restaurant:

Any women who only tolerates sex once a year doesn't want a mate, just a meal ticket. Neither my husband nor I ever turned down an invitation for sex with each other and we have been together for 50 years.

Now if I could just find a guy like that!

Really, exactly what do I have to say?

2006-10-03T11:08:00.000-04:00

Background: I have broken off with this man twice because he told me he didn't see any future with me. He tells me there is no fire, I ate the wrong foods, he doesn't like my family, he doesn't like my friends, I'm not girly-girly enough for him, my shoes aren't strappy enough, my clothes are just average. Honestly, who says all this shit to a woman? Well he does.

So the last time I broke things off I told him he needed to seek professional help. He thought I was being loving. GEEZ!

Anyway, it was Yom Kippur yesterday and I suppose he was feeling guilty (as he was suppose to be asking for forgiveness of his sins) and he calls me. God must have been looking after me because I wasn't home so he left a message. He wished me a happy new year, apologized for the way he walked away for the second time and wanted me to show up at temple to go to services with him. Perhaps he had a brain fart - I only do temple with those I love and because they need me there for them; otherwise I practice my religion how I see fit.

So I send him the following email:

R, I received your phone message this afternoon. I hope you have a healthy, happy new year. I appreciate the apology.

In regards to getting together, I believe I was pretty clear in my last email correspondence to you about the conditions under which I would meet you again – namely after you have talked with a therapist and then I would meet with you and your therapist or you could meet with me and my therapist. You chose at that time not to see the significance in what counseling could provide as far as reconciling feelings. I chose a different path and do not care to rehash any of those feelings.

I do not understand why you continue to reconcile your feelings for me. You seem to have made your feelings for me pretty clear – I am not the woman for you. I really feel that speaking with a therapist on why you continue to have feelings for me would be of great benefit to you. Until such time, I must decline any contact with you.

All the best to you,

So here is his response (totally unedited - and yes he writes in incomplete sentences and thoughts. For my readers you probably know my writing style is very complete so his correspondance is quite disconcerting.):

You're welcome, fair enough. (He doesn't even begin the reply using my name. WTF?)

For the record, why not agree to a therapist, 'cause they help you understand your state of mind & what to do with it. (Exactly what I said. You need to understand your mind.)

Two mature, conscientious adults don't need a third party therapist to moderate the discussion of their feelings for each other & find a sensible solution. (Yes they do need a therapist Sherlock when two people are not communicating with each other.)

Why did I choose to leave you? I was having a problem with the return of your weight (I gained 10 pounds because I was absolutely too skinny and I couldn't continue to maintain that kind of lifestyle. I have now leveled out at a weight that I can live with and maintain.); it turned me off. (Again, who says this shit?) I liked how slim/muscular you were in August 2004. (No you didn't because back then I had no curves and wasn't girly-girly enough for you.)

Why do I keep reconciling my feelings for you every so often?? (I have no f*cking clue! Exactly why you need therapy.)

A culutural connection between us, genuine love from you to me, and honest intimacy (whether sharing a meal, holding hands down the street, or more) is a very powerful thing to me. (Translation - " I haven't been laid in awhile. Want to be my friend with benefits?" )

Intelligence, independence and seasoned maturity are attractive to me.
If you decide to talk to me, I'm home 'til 6pm. E is out today. (E is the hateful sister. She thinks I keep running back to her brother when in reality he keeps running back to me. Yes, he lives with his sister but keeps threatening to move out. Whatever.)

Your turn to comment... R. (Is this a blog now?)

So I fowarded this email to my best friend with a comment: This guy is like a leech. I can't get rid of him. My best friend responded: Pour salt on him. Did I mention that I love my best friend?

I'm taking donations of salt.

Logical - Yep!

2006-10-02T10:30:00.000-04:00

You Are Pretty Logical

You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic
While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good
Keep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area!

How Logical Are You?

Lista - parte quattro

2006-10-01T23:26:00.000-04:00

91. I am analytical and am very good at reading people’s body language.

92. If a fruit can be peeled by hand, I cannot do it; I must use a knife. Though a knife and fork are great for eating barbeque ribs I prefer eating with my hands; I do not like ice cream on a cone and forget about mushrooms on/near anything.

93. I love the smell after a rainfall.

94. A planetarium is a wonderful place to spend time.

95. My first car was a blue, two door Chevy Impala – age unknown or rather forgotten – the car was my grandfather’s.

96. Tough exterior – softy inside.

97. I need the TV to fall asleep and do not like to be awaken by a buzzer.

98. Favorite Movies: Remember the Titans; Shawshank Redemption; Gone with the Wind; Legends of the Fall; Last of the Mohicans; The Count of Monte Cristo; A League of Their Own; The Way We Were; Finding Nemo; An Affair to Remember; Fargo; Schindler’s List; Fried Green Tomatoes; Michael; Ten Commandments (Charlton Heston version); The King and I (Yul Brynner); Free Willy; October Sky; The Rock; A River Runs Through It; The Minority Report; Independence Day; GI Jane; Amistad

99. I allow myself to grow by showing my vulnerability and insecurity; I don’t always live in my comfort zone and I don’t always play it safe.

100. I can’t choose my circumstances but I can choose my attitude towards it.

101. I like having fun even when I’m doing nothing.

102. Motto: I work like I don’t need money, love like I’ve never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

103. I find beauty in nature.

104. I know enough to be dangerous with computers but still consider myself very much the novice.

105. Crest is the toothpaste of choice, but please no baking soda.

106. I fell down a spiral staircase in a law office and had 8 people asking if I needed anything from the corporate “bar”.

107. I love science or biology related topics.

108. I don’t have much tolerance for people who are suppose to know their jobs and have others performing all their tasks and taking the credit for themselves.

109. I can only cook by following a recipe but I cannot bake (recipe or not).

110. My Cousin Vinny is one of the top funniest movies.

111. I like my man to take care of himself but he doesn’t have to be anal about every bit of food that crosses his lips.

112. I use the term you guys even though I’m from the south.

113. I can eat soup year round – even on the hottest day of the summer.

114. I see nothing wrong with talking out issues with a therapist. Usually confirms many things my friends have already told me.

115. I took Zoloft because of a micromanaging senile boss.

116. I like Jay Leno and Craig Ferguson but cannot stand David Letterman and Conan Obrein.

117. When Jay Leno retires from the Tonight Show I am going to have to find some other TV show to lull me to sleep.

118. I love scarves and refer to a how to tie a scarf book everytime I wear one.

119. I once smelled the daffodils so much that my sinuses became so swollen that I had to have my nose fixed.

120. I don’t think sports figures are heroes. Heroes are people who actually put their life on the line for someone else.

Tags: Lists

Going Pink

2006-09-30T23:13:00.000-04:00

Lindbergh's Crossing is following Blogography's lead and participating in Pink for October for the month.

This is something I encourage others to do in order to bring attention to Breast Cancer Awareness Month, get people talking about breast cancer, and raise money for research. Four people in my family have been affected by this disease. Each spring I participate in the EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Women in New York City to honor the survivors and to remember those who died like my Aunt and made a valiant attempt for life. Remember breast cancer doesn't just effect women; there are men who have had breast cancer too. It affects us all in more ways than you can imagine.

So go PINK! (I know it's purple but you needed to see it against my Pink background. It's the sentiment that counts.)

Tags: Breast Cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Pink for October, Susan G. Komen, EIF Revlon Run/Walk

Warning - Mushball/Waterfall

2006-09-29T10:37:00.000-04:00

Need a hug? Then check this out at Run Jen Run. Be forewarned - if you are proned to weepy eye this will most assuredly cause some tear drops.

And if anyone would like to share with me how to get that you tube thing link like that on my blog, please let me know.

A reason to be busy

2006-09-29T09:19:00.000-04:00

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Jerome K. Jerome
British humor writer (1859 - 1927)

I find this statement so true. When are you most apt to start piddling during the day? Obviously not until you have a shitload of work to do. We have conditioned ourselves to multitask at every opportunity that even when we are "relaxing" we still have other things on our plate we need to accomplish (wash clothes, clean house, fix a meal, study SOX, write a post for the blog, Wi-Fi from the pool, read through the posts of other bloggers).

So much to do, so little time. How many times have you walked into someone's office with this great idea you've been working on to find a person on their computer playing solitaire. Or you have been told that information is urgently needed and when you deliver the completed information on time, you find your manager on the phone having a personal conversation. Or attend a conference and look at how many people are on their cell phones - not checking email but actually playing a game.

The flip side is when we are actually given "free time" we find ourselves bored. It is as if free time isn't fun or appealing unless it is "stolen" from the other activities you have to accomplish. For me, I know that when I do all my work I actually have more free time and I can enjoy that down time as such.

How to wash away your sins

2006-09-29T08:59:00.000-04:00

During the Jewish New Year there is a ceremony called Tashlikh. Jews traditionally go to a running body of water such as the ocean, a stream or a river to pray and throw in breadcrumbs. This symbolizes throwing away one's sins which the fish devour. Occasionally, people ask what kinds of breadcrumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors:

For ordinary sins --White Bread

For erotic sins - French Bread

For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel

For complex sins - Multi grain

For sins of indecision - Waffles

For sins committed in haste - Matzos

For sins of chutzpah - Any fresh bread

For substance abuse - Stoned wheat

For committing auto theft - Caraway

For timidity/cowardice - Milk toast

For ill-temper - Sourdough

For silliness, eccentricity - Nut bread

For excessive irony - Rye bread

For unnecessary chances - Hero bread

For war-mongering - Kaiser rolls

For dressing immodestly - Tarts

For lechery and promiscuity - Hot buns

For promiscuity with gentiles - Hot cross buns

For racist attitudes - Crackers

For being holier than thou - Bagels

For overeating - Stuffing

For indecent photography - Cheesecake

For raising your voice too often - Challah

For pride and egotism - Puff pastry

For sycophancy, ass-kissing - Brownies

For being overly smothering - Angel food cake

For trashing the environment - Dumplings

For telling bad jokes/puns - Corn bread

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO ALL

List received from an email.

No words needed

2006-09-28T16:18:00.000-04:00

Victory Drive, Savannah, Georgia February 2006

Just as I suspected

2006-09-28T10:33:00.000-04:00

Your EQ is 140

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

My score was 140.

This is so me!

2006-09-24T16:30:00.000-04:00

You Are 83% Grown Up, 17% Kid

Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions.
In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!

How Emotionally Mature Are You?